Cannonball!

Summer is coming. And with that, swimming pool time. I know if you’re like me, you love to do a cannonball. That’s when you leave the edge of the pool running full sprint, leap in the air, tuck your legs under you and plunge into the water. You are going under and there is going to be a major splash.

That’s how God has called us to love people. You see, Jesus put no qualifiers on his statement in Mark 12. He simply said, “Love God. Love people.” He called us to love all people. Yes. those who have a different hair style or skin color or accent or worship style or have no eduction or more education…well you get the idea.

Jesus says that the love he offers is for everyone. Paul says in Romans 1:16, “I am not ashamed of this Good News about Christ. It is the power of God at work, saving everyone who believes.”

Think about what Peter said, the disciple handpicked by Jesus and who led the church in Jerusalem. In his great sermon on Pentecost, Peter told everyone that Jesus was for, well, everyone. Toward the end of the sermon, Peter reminded all those who were listening, “This promise [of salvation] is to you, to your children, and to those far away—all who have been called…”

As one reads through the letters of Paul, it is undeniable that Paul is hoping to get all his readers to see that God’s bubble is huge. God doesn’t want to lose anyone. God wants his entire creation in relationship with him. Paul wants all of us to see what it looks like when we choose to pop our bubbles and enter into the inclusive story God is creating in the world.

You can almost feel the emotional urgency Paul uses as he writes these words for us to live by in his letter to the Romans:

“Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically. Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them. Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all!

Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.” (Romans 12:9-17).

So, today, live in such a way that those around you will say you follow Jesus. Love and be active in that love. Create a cannonball of love that will splash on everyone around you. Choose your words. Choose your actions. Choose a life that screams you’re in love with Jesus and with his creation. Blessings on the journey.

Turn on the Flashlight.

Did you ever follow anyone into a place with which you were unfamiliar? There has been more than one time when I was so glad someone was with me who knew where they were going…they had been there before and It saved me a lot of heartache and disappointment.

Life can be that way too. We all must grow, mature, learn, travel, experience and learn. If we don’t, we die. Now, you’ve had people in your life who have showed you a few things. When my boys were in junior high, I taught them how to pump gas, change a flat tire, remove and change out a car battery, and check the oil. These are basic things one needs to know to operate a vehicle. They could have learned on their own but because I was invested in them, had a relationship with them, wanted them to succeed in life, I showed them these things without them asking.

There are other, more important things we should be teaching as well. But in order for the teaching to be received well, we need a relationship or built rapport with that person. We create credibility with people through shared life experience and developing trust along the way. We typically see this most often with our spouse and children, but it can extend to friend-circles and coworkers.

I mean, how do you know someone is compassionate or honest or thoughtful or tender or real or grounded? It happens when we have a relationship with them and the deeper the relational tie, the more we see these things. This happens when we choose to be with others and travel with them.

Jesus showed us what that really looks like. Matthew 9 tells us Jesus had compassion on the crowds. His actions in his life tell us how compassionate a person he truly lived out. Matthew 20 is an example of him physically touching someone to heal them. We all need human interaction, especially touch, to be reminded someone cares for us. We learn how to comfort and be compassionate by looking at Jesus’ life and in turn we discover how that looks as we interact with others.

So, take time to build relationship. Go slow and see whose path you can light. Others around you are looking for a caring, compassionate person to help light their way. Pick one person and change how you interact with them. Choose three people over the course of a year to walk with. Take time to give hugs and handshakes. Affirm those around you with positive, encouraging words. You’ll find that as you take the time to imitate Jesus and lift others, you will be lifted as well. Blessings on the journey.

You have MUCH power here.

Some of us like down time. You know, when it’s quiet and you can collect your thoughts. However, we can’t stay there very long. We were created to be in community. Think about the last time you laughed with a friend so hard you stomach hurt. What about the late night shenanigans moment when you toilet papered someone’s yard…What about the moment you told something that was very private to a close friend and they hugged you up in affirmation?

Yes! We’ve all got moments that we remember when we lived heartily in community. We were made for community…to be together. Now, there are no promises it will always be light and airy with the people we chose to live out life with but tough or easy, we were made to journey together.

God have us family, both physical and spiritual. And in those families we learn what it means to live out loud. There are people in your life that you can name right now that helped you be the person you are today. Go ahead. Say 4 names out loud that poured into you, affirmed you, walked with you, held you up, and cheered for you. Do you remember how you felt? Like someone cared and knew you. But living in community isn’t always about receiving. It’s also about giving.

So now, it’s your turn to pour. Who are the 3-4 people right now that you are walking with? Who are the people in your life that you are affirming and cheering for? You do you pour into?

As people who have been gifted by God, we are equally called to share that giftedness with others. Now, it stands to reason that of course you’d cheer for your kids or grandkids. You no doubt are affirming your spouse. Those are given. I mean if you aren’t pouring into them, who will. So beyond those people, who this year have you chosen to walk with.

You know, Paul in Ephesians 4:11 reminds us that we have gifts and it’s our responsibility to equip God’s people to do his work and build up other Jesus followers. If you find yourself creating excuses of why you are not doing that, I feel you. We all could create multiple reasons why we can’t cheer for, affirm or pour into anyone. But then, I’d look like every other person in the world but we’re called to be different.

No matter where you are, decide today, right now, in this moment, you’re going to be different…that you’re going to pay it forward. Someone lifted you. Now, it’s your turn. May God grant you the vision to see who you can walk with. May God allow room and margin on your calendar to find someone to affirm and cheer. We were made for community. The call as a follower of Jesus is to live that way. Blessings on your journey.

Light it up!

You know, no one ever wakes up and says, “Today is the day I ruin my spouse’s life.” It just doesn’t happen like that. If there is disappointment, it is usually slow and subtle. But every decision we make today, for good or bad, will have ripple effects that will effect our spouse, our kids, our friends and those we hold dearest.

It’s like the garden scene in Genesis 2-3. Adam and Eve are in the Garden of Eden and told by God they could do anything except eat from The Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. We don’t know how long they were in the garden but eventually, Satan entered, he tempted them both, they ate of the tree and sin entered the world along with shame and guilt.

Have you have felt ashamed of choices you made? Have you ever been guilty of something? Well, yes. We all have felt both of those things in our lives. Because of sin, we feel shame and guilt. But there is a remedy.

We discover in Ephesians 5:8-11 that before we met Jesus and accepted him as Lord, we lived in darkness. We were dark-living people. What is so true is that shame grows in darkness and healing only happens in the light. See, Satan, wants to keep us in the dark. He wants to isolate us. He wants to convince us that we can journey alone and we don’t need community. And the shame and guilt we feel when we make poor choices, Satan would say it’s part of our identity. It’s who we are. When we are alone, in darkness, we begin to believe his voice.

I’m reminded though God has already told me who I am. He says I’m made in his image. I’m his child. I’m part of his family. God is light. Jesus is light. We are called to be people of light…to live in the light. Satan wants us to live in secrecy but we discover that secrecy is the enemy of intimacy in all our relationships.

So, if you are struggling in your life, use truth with your spouse and with God to come into the light. Healing only happens in the light. See, we confess our sin to God for forgiveness and we confess our sin to people for healing.

Gather our accountability group. Get into and read God’s Word. Become part of a faith group. Begin speaking to God through prayer. Secrecy is the enemy of intimacy. If you want the burden you’ve been carrying to be removed, Jesus says, “Come to me all you who are weary and heavily burdened and I will give you rest.” What are you waiting for? Press through the pain of truth to get to the peace of healing. I know you are ready. It’s time to live as people of light. Blessings on your journey.

We go together like...

When you’re dating it seems many times, opposite attract. However after years of being together in marriage, those same qualities can attack. Maybe you started out by talking about how laid back they were but now, they are lazy. Or how put together they are and organized but now they are so controlling. The same characteristics that seem to attract now attack.

God uses our differences to enhance our marriage but Satan can use those differences to tear us apart, especially if we are not intentional about some priorities we’ve set for our marriage.

First, we must make God our ONE and our spouse our TWO. If we set this as the priority in our life, everything else will follow. Now, we are still going to disagree and have conflict. We are not going to see eye to eye on every issue. There may be days that you just need some distance to reset but if we make God our priority, we’ll always come at our partnership selflessly.

We also have to pursue our two and state daily in words and action that marriage is about “we”, not “me”.

What we must realize is our marriage is a covenant, not a contract. Here’s the difference. A contract is based on mutual distrust. It’s the idea that I’m in this as far as you are in. I don’t trust you enough so I want you to sign a piece of paper to promise me you’ll do what you say you’ll do.

A covenant is based on mutual commitment. Go to Genesis 15 when God cuts a covenant with Abram. He doesn’t have any kids yet but God says he’ll have more kids than the stars in the sky and the world will be blessed through his lineage (a foreshadowing of Jesus). God makes a promise, more than a contract, to Abram. It’s serious stuff.

So in our marriages we say “for better or worse…until death do us part”. However, many times at the first difficult season, we part ways and say good bye. If we are truly making our life based on our love for Jesus and following his character, then we’ll follow biblical examples of healthy marriage.

Paul tells us in Ephesians 5:21-33 what a healthy marriage looks like. He reminds us a covenant partnership is Godly leadership and mutual submission. Now that doesn’t mean ordering someone around and demeaning a spouse. Paul calls us to mutual submission and to husbands to love our wives like Jesus loves the church…to the extent we’d give our lives selflessly for her.

Paul reminds us of the key in Ephesians 5:33, “the husband loves his wife and the wife respects her husband.” The more I truly love my wife, the more she will respect my position as the spiritual lead in the family. The more she respects me as a man of God, the more I am compelled to love her in multiple ways. It’s a beautiful cycle once you get it moving in the right direction.

So, who begins? The one that’s more mature. Your marriage will be as good as both of you decide it will be. You can only change you so why not begin today? Loving your spouse; being committed to your promise; deciding to change for the better…these are all choices you must make daily. Every morning I put my feet on the floor I make a choice: “Today, I’m going to honor my wife. Today, I’m going to live for Jesus.”

The marriage journey is a fantastic one to take. There are ups and downs. But nothing is more rewarding than pouring into your TWO and having a life-partner you can fully depend on and love. Enjoy the journey. My hope and prayer is God will bless you in so many ways.

Run, Forrest, Run!

Have you ever done something crazy for love? Just admit it…you have. I once had a date with my wife where we went to the lake at sunset and painted watercolor on canvas. We are not really artist but it was fun. You and I have done some interesting things for love. But isn’t it worth it?

We do tend to pursue what we don’t have. Whether it’s a physically fit body, more money, a bigger house, a better job, the perfect marriage…we run after what we don’t have. If you ever end up asking “where has the romance gone?” or “ Why don’t I feel in love any more?”, you probably have your priorities out of line. It should read like this, God is you ONE and your spouse is your TWO. If you find your priorities don’t read like this, I’ve got some suggestions to help reset priorities with your two.

When you think something good, say it. Don’t ever deprive your spouse of positive reinforcement. Hebrews 3:13 reminds us that simply saying great and positive things can help keep sin out of a marriage. Guys, pursue the woman in your life with words of affection…non-sexual affection. Physical touch is important but not for our point here. Tell her you love her BECAUSE _______________. It would mean so much to her to know why you love her. “I love you because you are a wonderful mother..because you are a great woman of God…because you brownies are to die for.” You know why you love her so tell her.

And ladies, pursue your man with words of affirmation. Let him know the positive ways you appreciate him. If he is, tell him he’s a great dad, or wonderful husband, or strong spiritual leader, or has great work ethic but don’t hold back. It will make all the difference to him.

She wants to know, “Do you love me today?” and he wants to know, “Do you believe in my today?”

Secondly, when you think something special, do it. Take off work early to get home and go on a walk together. Go to the park and talk about where you want to be next year or in 3 years. Enjoy time in nature together. Pick her car up from work early, get it cleaned and get it back before she gets off work. Send her flowers for no apparent reason. Bring her/him their favorite drink to work. Pick up tickets to see his favorite team play. Take interest in each other’s hobbies. There is so much you can do to remind your spouse how much you care about them and that you are thinking of them often.

Finally, when you want something different, be it. Sometimes, we end up pointing fingers at each other and playing the blame game. But no one ever criticized each other into a better marriage. You ultimately cannot control other people but you can control yourself. You be the person God has created you to be. You be you.

Remember, to get what you have never had, you’re going to have to do some things you’ve never done. Pursue your two with everything you have. Run after what you want for your marriage. Make God your one and you’ll find everything else will fall into place. Blessings on the journey.

Who's your two?

We’ve all had dreams from an early age of what marriage might be like. For the girls, their guy would be dashing, Prince Charming, sweep you off your feet, a solid job, lots of travel. The dream of a husband would be robust and full. For guys, it would be get married and be intimate with your wife twice a day. And how many of us on both sides are still dreaming?

I’ve counseled many before marriage and couples that have been in crisis and what I’ve found more times than not is their priorities are out of sync. We believe we must find the one who will be everything we are not and fulfill all my life hopes. The trouble is, there is no one in all creation who can or will do that for you. The only one who can do that is God and I don’t know anyone human by that name. So, creating the reality of how things should be in our marriages is…

God is your ONE and your spouse is your TWO. That’s what Jesus says in Mark 12:30-31. “Love God and love people.” As a Christ-follower, we say “I’ll seek the one while preparing for my two.”

In Genesis 2:24, we are reminded we grow up clinging to our parents. But once you’ve discovered your two, you leave your parents and start building a life with the person you’ve chosen to serve God with your whole life. Once you get the priorities in position you’ll discover life is so much easier. Now it’s not to say there aren’t hiccups along the way. Life does happen as they say and there are adjustments to living. But when you have God as your ONE then everything becomes so much clearer.

A second thing we must remember is to protect those priorities. If you’re having difficulty in your marriage right now, it’s more than likely you have your priorities out of whack. One way my wife, Robin, and I have discovered to make sure we keep priorities is to serve God together.

We were in youth ministry together for 20 years and she brought so much to the table helping me with those teens and parents. We have been on many short term mission trips together. It makes me so proud to know I’m married to a woman who wants to put God first.

If your married with kids, remember kids are a temporary assignment. Sure, you’ll be parents your whole life but you’ve really got them for 18-19 years before they graduate and move out. You launch them to go serve God and find their two. But marriage is until death do you part. Don’t ever put your kids as a priority above your marriage. If you do, once the kids leave home, you’ll be sitting at a dining room table wondering who the person is that is sitting across from you.

Can I speak to the men for a moment? You are called to lead in your home. Not be a dictator. Not use power to lord your decision making. You join with your wife and love her like Jesus loved the church (Eph. 5:25). But you as father and husband who is a believer in Jesus Christ, you decide you’re going to be a family who is plugged in at church, who is serving together, who creates the date night for you and your wife, who show your kids what it looks like to be affectionate toward your wife, to join in community and get involved in a connect or small group. You give yourself to Jesus then give yourself to your family.

Make sure God is your ONE and your spouse is your TWO. You’ll find life and the journey that much sweeter and easier. Blessings on that journey.

Home is where family is...

Did you ever see eye to eye with your siblings? Your parents? Even yourself? We’ve all grown up in a family where we celebrated joy and accomplishment together and we also weathered storms together. But no matter how we disagreed, we never left each other. We may have had moments of silence and separation but eventually, we worked it out. Why? Because we are family.

The church is the same way. We are family. We journey together. We may not always get along or see things each other’s way but we don’t walk out on each other. We communicate. We become empathetic. We work it out and meet somewhere in the middle. But we don’t just walk out on each other…that is if we are truly trying to be the body of Christ.

In Acts 2:42-47, we see the description of something radical in that first century. Social groups who were very different but allowing Jesus to unite them in unity…to become family. Even though in that church there were Jews and Gentiles, men and women, slave owners and slaves, merchants and paupers, they all felt equal and united in Jesus. We see them meeting in each other’s houses, taking meals together, selling things and giving money away. They were truly acting like a family, exactly how Jesus had designed it. And we see a couple of things that described them to make this new life happen well.

That first church acted as one family filled with the Holy Spirit. When you look at their life, we know they realized they were created to be in community lifting up the one Savior who made it possible. Even Jesus prayed for the church’s unity. In John 17, Jesus prays for us today saying, “May we be unified to each other like Jesus and Father are unified.”

They were discarding anger, rage, harsh words, selfish thoughts (Ephesians 4) and looking like Jesus. The only way to overcome our selfish desires is to be filled with the Holy Spirit.

But they were also one family who had emptied “self”. They realized in Jesus, it was all about serving others and inclusiveness. The type of life Jesus had exampled for us. That first church wanted to look like Jesus and start this radical new community of people who were trying to look like him. The Greek word for that is “ecclesia”. It means “set apart” or “called out”. The church is different from the world. It treats God’s creation differently than the world. The church is called out from the world to be an example of family, community, Jesus.

And today, we are called to live the same way. To be the light for the world around us. We’re called to stop in fighting, stop the hatefulness, stop the self-centeredness. As we look at that first church, we see people who had surrendered to Jesus and were living in such a way the world was taking notice. So, how are you living? Are you looking like Jesus or fighting to get your way? It’s time to leave behind the script the world gives out and live into a life like Jesus. Blessings on your journey.

Mission (Him)possible

You ever been on a mission? I don't mean a mission trip with church but focused on one particular thing? When my boys were young and in Scouts, we did this thing called geo-caching. It’s where you are looking for hidden treasure. Someone hides something small, puts the coordinates on the web (usually in a state park or public area). Then using GPS and a compass, you track it down.

Those Scouts were so focused on finding that thing. Nothing got in their way. Not weather, terrain, people…they had a laser focus to their mission.

As the church and individual followers of Jesus, we too have a mission. A laser focus in life. Jesus tells us what that is in Matthew 28:18-20, “I’ve been given all authority in heaven and on earth. So, go and make disciples…” That’s it. That’s our mission as people who believe in a risen Savior.

As Jesus-followers, we should be compelled by our mission. That first century church could not stop talking about Jesus and his story. We should be the same, absolutely on fire for Jesus and the hope He gives us. C.S. Lewis said, “There is no such thing as a mere mortal.” It’s so true. All of us are going to live forever. So it’s incredibly important that we take everyday, even in the smallest of ways, to tell those around us about Jesus and what He’s done for us.

We should also be confident in our mission. In Acts 4, the disciples are arrested then released and told not to talk anymore about Jesus. But they met with the whole church and prayed to God to give them boldness to continue. They weren’t scared. They didn’t hide. They didn't pray for vengeance against those authorities. They prayed confidently to God knowing he would grant them more opportunity to share Jesus in word and action.

But we’re also reminded we are called to live out our mission every day. Worship is beautiful as we gather on a Sunday morning together but worship doesn’t end there. Worship is every day of our lives. We must pray for boldness to live in to the mission Jesus has placed us on: telling others about how incredible he is and how Jesus is the only hope we have for life.

So pray to be light in the world where you find yourself. Be bold in your actions and words. Be prayerful and ask God for mission. Be courageous and share Jesus. As followers of Jesus, we are not on cruise control. We are on mission to share Jesus every day of our lives. Blessings on journey.

Bold is more than a coffee

We all have our idols. People we think are incredible at what they do. The greatest of all time is the phrase we give them. There is a debate about whether it’s MJ or LeBron for basketball. For me and football, it has to be Barry Sanders. He’s the 1988 Heisman trophy winner who played at Oklahoma State University (my alma mater). But no matter what you think, Jesus surpasses EVERYONE in every category as the only one who matters.

When you read Acts 4 and discover how the first century church felt about him and how Jesus changed all of them to care about each other, it’s clear Jesus is all powerful. He can do things to change you for the better. At the end of Acts 2, the church was devoted to each other, performed great works together, met together daily, shared everything they owned, sold things and gave money to the poor, shared life together and changed neighborhoods and towns together ALL in the Name of Jesus! Jesus changes everything and for a few reasons.

Jesus is the only one who reigns. Based on Acts 4, you can put followers of Jesus in a box but you’ll never put Jesus in a box. At the end of Jesus’ time on earth in Matthew 28, Jesus reminds us all authority and power has been given to him on earth, above and below the earth. Daniel 7, the prophet points to the future saying Jesus will come and every nation, every language, every skin color, political party, NFL team…will fall down and worship him.

And Jesus is the only who is worthy. Jesus is the cornerstone for all things new. That first century church believed Jesus as the answer for everything. They were committed to him. Some questions we should ask as we start this new year: What would give Jesus glory in my life? What should I do right now with my talent set? How can I be light? How can I be an encouragement to my family? How can I reaffirm folks at my workplace? How can I be Jesus?

And finally, Jesus is the only one who saves. People were looking at the disciples and were amazed. They were doing extraordinary things even though they had no education. They were changing the world because of the power of Jesus. They realized “there is no other Name by which we must be saved” (Acts 4:12). Because of that truth, the group of believers turned their world upside down for Jesus.

That is our call as well…to be the light wherever we are. To be a representative of Jesus and proclaim his power in word and action. That’s the challenge in 2020. To be bold for Jesus. Stop at nothing to share what He’s done for you. Don’t let anything deter you from being the person God created you to be in his son Jesus. Blessings on the journey.