Be an Influencer.

Country music has been in my family for a very long time. My grandparents wrote songs, cut records, and played on the Louisiana Hayride with Elvis back in the day. They influenced me to pursue singing country music in the early ‘90s. I cut two albums, played several township festivals, and went to Nashville once when I was invited by Charlie Daniels to be on his TV show. We have all been influenced in positive ways.

Jesus calls us to do just that. He wants us to go into the world and make disciples, loving on those around us like He loved us (John 13:34-35). And God showed us how to love close up and personal. He didn’t love us from a distance but came to earth and “moved into our neighborhood” (John 1 MSG).

Jesus also called everyone to an inclusive table. His Kingdom is not exclusive but anyone who will, can follow him. They are invited to the celebration feast. In Luke 14, Jesus is invited to a well-known church leader’s house for a party. Once Jesus is inside and looks around, he notices all the big names in town are present but there is no one there who isn’t popular or has a lot of money.

Jesus looks around and tells a story to the host of the party, reminding the host of what God is looking for in his followers. So in the story, the host invites everyone in town and everyone out in the countryside. The party becomes inclusive rather than exclusive. If you want to be an influencer for the Kingdom, you can’t pick and choose who you tell about Jesus or who you invite to the celebration. So being an influencer brings 2-3 things to mind.

One, being an influencer means being fully present. In other words, put down you phone and loosen up your calendar. You’ll be intentional with the folks around you and engage the people right in front of you. But to do that, you’ll need to be intentional and go into every day with your eyes wide open.

Secondly, being an influencer means loving uninvited and overlooked people. It means no matter the socioeconomic background, your skin color, your bank account, your political preference, or your theological bent, you love people for the cause of Christ. The people you might not normally pay attention to or you avoid are now on your radar.

Finally, being an influencer means going to unfamiliar and uncomfortable places. It’s hard to have a story to share when you decide to live inside your small, comfortable bubble. Jesus calls us to go far and wide to share our lives with others who need to know Jesus.

So, become an influencer for Jesus by stepping out. Remember we’ve been called to tell the greatest story ever. So many feel no value or purpose and we know Jesus can and will change all of that. You know what to do. Be an influencer. Lean into those right in front of you. Blessings on the journey.

Breaking Walls in Relationships.

Lawrence Ripple was tired of the nagging. He and Dori had been married 20 years. They lived in Kansas City in 2016 but the day came when he’d had enough. So he went downtown to a bank, handed a note to the teller. The note read, “Give me all your money. I have a gun.” So, the teller handed over about $2900. Lawrence then calmly sat down on a couch in the bank and began talking to the security guard until the police came.

The police arrested Lawrence but discovered he had no gun. When they asked Lawrence why he did it, he replied, “It was the only way to get away from my nagging wife.” Ironically when it came time for him to stand in front of the judge, she had the ability to give him 37 months in jail but, because she knew the reason for his action, instead, sentenced him to house arrest for six months.

I’ve heard from many, marriage can be like a ball and chain but it doesn’t have to be if we decide to enter into that relationship with the mind of Christ. By looking at the life of Christ, we discover that relationship requires sacrifice. Jesus reminds us of God’s intent for marriage in Mark 10 when he says, “a person leaves their mom and dad and is united with their spouse…” The word “united” in the original language means to “grab hold of and pursue with everything you have.” It’s the same type of language used in Deuteronomy as the book describes God’s love and relationship with us.

So, how do I pursue my spouse with everything I have? While no human relationship will ever be perfect, we can look at Jesus’ life as reflected in Philippians 2 to discover what sacrifice looks like. What we see is that Jesus’ love is filled with unselfish humility. There’s no easy hack for that…it’s just hard. Jesus left everything for you and me…he made himself nothing. How do you break down walls in your relationship? You make yourself nothing, considering others as more important than yourself.

And if we are going to look like Jesus in our relationship, you must give undeserved grace. Grace is what tore down the wall between you and God. So, we look to text like Ephesians 4:32 for guidance where Paul says, “be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” Or 1 Corinthians 13 where Paul reminds us that love doesn’t keep record of wrongs. You want to tear down the walls, don’t keep a record of wrong but extend undeserved grace.

And finally, find the most generous explanation for your spouse’s behavior, then believe it. We should believe that the one to whom we said, “I do”, is good-willed and has good intentions. Now that doesn’t mean we put off working on things or put off difficult conversations but in your heart, we are believing they really mean well.

As believers in Jesus, we should be the best people in the world to practice this idea. So that’s the challenge, lean into your marriage and take on the personality of Jesus Christ. Someone has to take the first step in your relationship to show Jesus, why not you? You’ve got this. And He’s got you. Blessings on your journey.

A Little Love & Respect.

Ephesians 5 is one of the most difficult passages for most married people to take in. We can read it and nod our heads and say, “That’s so nice!” but then walk away with absolutely no way to apply it.  In fact, Ephesians 5 often causes our old Adam to well up in the worst of ways, pointing fingers at ways our spouse fails us daily or, in worst cases, ending marriages in the heartache and trauma of devaluing and abuse.  So we avoid it. We avoid reading it; we avoid discussing it; and we hope and pray that our pastor doesn’t preach about it on Sunday.  

But Ephesians 5 has all we need to know to have a marriage that thrives. Don’t misunderstand me. I’m not talking about a marriage that’s any easier than your neighbors’, or a marriage that’s “happier” or more “successful.” I’m talking about a marriage that’s fulfilling through the hard work and effort of each spouse. A marriage guided by the Spirit, struggling in the day-to-day, and finding joy in the journey together.

Ephesians 5 presents two ingredients: 1) husbands love your wives, and 2) wives respect your husbands. Easier said than done. God intends each person to contribute, but He gave us the Holy Spirit, and a lot of love and grace and forgiveness to fill in the gaps where we live as sinner and saint. So, let’s agree to discuss it. Let’s digest even a tiny bit of what love and respect might look like in this small space of the Internet.

1. Assume the best in your spouse. This underlies everything in your marriage. Do you believe that your spouse has your best interests in mind? Do you believe God has your best interest in mind? We trust in God because He is God and He is perfect. We also trust in Him because we know Him and know that He has our best interest in mind. Who is our next closest relationship? Who do we know so deeply that we have committed a lifetime to getting to know every tiny piece of him or her? Our spouse. When frustration and hurt begin to well up in an argument or circumstance we can put the best perspective on what our spouse is saying and doing because we believe in this person as a complete partner in the relationship, as someone with our best interest in mind.

2. Talk nicely. It sounds simplistic, but the tongue really gets us into so much trouble. The Bible addresses this over and over. We tend to reserve our patient tongues, our reserved tongues for those outside of our home, and let the wagging and lashing flow where we are most comfortable. The problem is that this leaves our spouse feeling undervalued and disrespected, unloved. God created the second chance, the rephrase, to show care and concern for those closest to us.

Husbands loving their wives. Wives respecting their husbands. Christ doing all of it in us, showing a weary world through our little marriage just who He really is.  It’s not easy, but He’s always worth it. Blessings on the journey.

Laying Bricks in Relationship.

According to several articles, the most romantic line from a romantic movie is from “Jerry McGuire” where Tom Cruise tells Rene Zellwigger, “You complete me.” But the truth is, no one on the earth was created to complete you. No one was created to make you happy. No one was created to bring you real joy. The only person to ever live to do all of that was Jesus Christ.

However, when we date or marry, we end up bringing things into our relationship that can hinder intimacy. Some things we are aware of and others are hidden. Tim Keller said, “Marriage has a way of introducing you to yourself.” That is so true. I want to briefly talk about 6 things we bring that can harm our relationship if we are unaware they exist.

Almost always, we bring in unrealistic expectations. We believe we should not have to work at our marriage. I think I should always feel in love. We falsely believe we should not have problems we can’t solve. John Gottman’s research tells us that 69% of issues in marriage will never be resolved. Things like personality differences, libido differences, financial stresses or in-law stress all take more than one conversation to resolve.

We also underestimate our differences. Some of us are night owls while our partners are early risers. Some of us are extroverted while our spouse is an introvert. Some of those differences came out of our house of origin. So, your dad fixed everything in the house but your husband, not so much. Your mom always had dinner on the table by 5:30pm but you find yourself helping cook dinner.

At times, we have unmet needs. As humans, we have a need to feel protected and provided for. We have sexual needs and emotional needs. Rather than asking why our spouse is not meeting our needs, we should be asking how we can better meet our spouse’s needs. If we both ask that question, we’ll both be taken care of.

You might bring unresolved anger into your relationship. Maybe you have never worked through the challenges your parents laid on you or that sibling rilvary. You may have unresolved issues that happened to you as a young child and you’ve never gotten counseling. Because you’ve not worked through these issues, you answer your spouse with defensiveness and harsh tones. It’s hard to have intimacy when anger is present.

You could have helicopter parents. Even in your adulthood, you seek out their input over your spouse’s. When there’s an argument, you call dad/mom because you know they always think of you as their little one and will take your side no matter. But parents, if this is you, it’s time to let go so that your kids can mature, grow, and learn, discovering who they are as a married couple.

Finally there’s unrepentant sin. You have that secret sin compartmentalized and tucked away. As long as she doesn’t know, it will be alright. As long as he doesn’t find out, it will be fine. But sin in your life will always get in the way of intimacy. And not only intimacy with your spouse but your relationship with God as well.

So the challenge is to do two things. One, do some self-reflection and discover what you have brought into the relationship that you need to deal with. Second, pray out loud every night together for the next two weeks. It allows time for you to hear what’s on the heart of our spouse and begin breaking down the walls that have hindered intimacy. Blessings on the journey.

Prodigal Father.

Now you have either been a son or a daughter. I bet if truth be told, you were not an angel. I know I was not. I butted heads with my dad on more than one occasion growing up. When I was 18, I left home and never looked back. I was young, naive, and selfish and I made multiple poor decisions in my early 20s.

Jesus tells a story that begins, “There was a man who had two sons…” in Luke 15. It’s the story of a young son who wants his half of the family inheritance BEFORE his dad dies. So, when he asks for it, the dad concedes and gives it to him. The story goes on to tell of wild nights in bigger and distant cities where all the money was spent to buy friends, prostitutes, drugs, alcohol…it was pure Las Vegas on steroids.

Eventually, the young son ran out of money and of course, his so called friends left him for better things. With no money and now a shortage of food, the young son convinced a farmer to let him feed the pigs to earn a meager wage. Hebrews cannot touch pigs. They are unclean and one would be defiled to come in contact with those animals. The young son has hit rock bottom. No money, no friends, no food, defiled and unclean…But he remembers the servants in his dad’s house have more than enough food. So he determines to go home.

He thinks, “At home, even dad’s servants have a place to sleep and something to eat. I’ll go, recognizing I can no longer be called his son because of my stupidity, and ask dad if I can just be a servant.” So, he begins the long journey home.

But the father has been watching for months and months for his son. Finally, in the distance, the father sees his son and leaps from his porch to run down the road and hold his son. Their is no time for confession…no promise of different future behavior. Before the son can say he’s sorry, the father hugs him, kisses him, puts his own robe on him, a ring on his finger and shoes on his feet. Let the party begin!

Jesus reminds us in this story that the love of God both violates and fulfills our sense of forgiveness. It is a two-edged sword. When we are in the wrong, we want and may feel we deserve the forgiveness. But when we have been wronged, it takes a little more time to offer that forgiveness. Yet we see from the father what true love looks like.

The young son has been a prodigal…giving away all of his money, his time, himself to the world around him. The father is a prodigal too, who never tires of giving away his love for wayward children who have come home.

He’s waiting for you to come back as well. He’s watching for you to make the decision to be embraced by a love that’s deeper than the ocean. He’s waiting to give you that robe, ring and new shoes but you have to make the decision to come home. May the overwhelming love of the Father cause you to remember what’s at home. May you make the decision to embrace the wonderful life you can have by coming home. Blessings on the journey.

This is Really All that Remains to Do.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13

When you think about your faith journey, what do you think is most important?

The rules you follow?
How often you attend church?
The time of the day you read your Bible?
The number of mission trips you have been on?

What if I told you that all of those things meant nothing if they weren’t done in love?

When we read the Bible, it is clear from the first to last page that love is the theme of God’s work in the world. Everything He does is rooted and built up in love. It’s His character – He cannot change!

The very same is true of Jesus. Being one with the Father, Jesus’s life and ministry were marked with love and mercy. No matter who came across His path, Jesus showed love in ways that changed the world forever.

Paul, writing to those living in the city of Corinth, needed to remind the believers there of the importance of love marking their lives. A sense of self-righteousness was beginning to show up in those who claimed to be true believers of Jesus. Paul wanted to stop this pride and arrogance before it infected the church with evil.

If we claim to follow Jesus Christ, shouldn’t our lives be marked with the same love He lived with? God, in His wisdom, has placed us among those who need to know the love of God before they know the “rules and requirements” of being a “Christian”. Perhaps our understanding of being a Christian would change radically if we lived with love.

How will your actions change if you begin with love? Live with love, and watch your faith and hope begin to rise in strength and power!

So, think of the love that Jesus showed while He walked on earth to all those He encountered. What are the ways that you need to show love to those you encounter every day?

And Paul says that love is more important than hope and faith. What is it about love that makes it so important to understand and show? How can you show that love in your life today? Blessings on your journey!

So...To Whom Should I Show Compassion?

We all like to be pampered. I’ve seen your social media posts. There’s massages, pedis and manis…restaurant plates…well, you get it. We love ourselves. We love to be pampered too when we aren’t feeling well. Chicken noodle soup in bed, our favorite blanket and a Netflix series we have been wanting to binge watch.

It’s interesting though, when it’s someone else, we have our doubts. We just say “pull up your bootstraps and let’s go”. We aren’t too worried about most people like we worry about ourselves. I’m mean, even the Apostle Paul said in Ephesians 5:29, “No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it." Case in point…

So, there’s a lawyer who is interacting with Jesus in Luke 10 and he’s got an important question. He asks the Son of God, the Messiah, the Anointed One, “How do I inherit eternal life?’ That’s a fair question. I mean, we’d all like to know the answer. Tell me exactly what I need to do to get there. So both Jesus and the lawyer agreed that one should love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. And love your neighbor as yourself.

But then the lawyer asks a question that reminds us that we are ultimately about ourselves when he asks, “Okay. But who is my neighbor?” He asks because he doesn’t want to spend anymore on anyone than he has to spend. He’s asking, “Where is the line? I only have so much compassion to give. Where does it end?”

So Jesus tells a story to answer a question, like he does so many times. The story is found in Luke 10 when Jesus tells the story of a man traveling who gets mugged by some shady characters and left for dead. Other people are on the road as well.

A priest comes along but passes by on the other side of the road. He keeps his distance. He doesn’t have time to be bothered with this inconvenience. Jesus is saying that’s one way to interact with the world…just keep your distance.

Then a Temple servant comes along who notices the man. He goes over to take a look but eventually passes by as well. You have seen this in church folks as well. I can be intrigued but uninvolved. Folks, religion doesn’t make us loving. Jesus makes us loving. We can be so “righteous” yet unloving toward those around us. Jesus says that’s another way we could interact.

But then a Samaritan comes by who happens to be the enemy of the man lying in the ditch. He stops to mend, bandage, support, and use his own resources to help this man. Jesus says that we can also care for those around us. Jesus says this one, the one that stopped to help, is the closest to God of all.

So from this story, we learn what we can do to love our neighbor. How do I love my neighbor?

You and I must see the need to sympathize. In verse 33 it says, “when he saw the man’s condition, his heart went out.” The Samaritan looked beyond the labels and saw him. Sympathy is seeing people from God’s point of view. And you know, we have hurting people all around us. The homeless person just needing to be noticed; the single parent weeping in the common area; a tearful spouse wondering if her marriage is over; a bewildered student on a college campus weighing if there is more to life; a silenced person of color; a defiant teenager who’s home life is less than helpful.

So many people around you need to see the love of God from you. They need to know someone cares and sees them. So you and I need to slow down to empathize with those around us. The Samaritan’s heart was filled with compassion. We need to slow down, create margin in our lives and calendars in order to serve and listen. Johnny Cash’s song, “Walk a Mile” says it all.

Finally, we need to take the love God’s offered us and put it in action. See, love is something you do. The Samaritan physically takes care of the man who is hurt. Following Jesus is not easy. You and I are called to give some things up on the way in order to help other people. See, God has called us to be salt and light; to bring some flavor to our world…to shine light into the dark areas.

So it’s time to lay down that cold shoulder; it’s important to free up some time to serve those around you; It’s time to have a conversation with someone you’ve been avoiding; it’s time to reconcile with someone from who you’ve been withholding love. Our call as Jesus’ disciples is to love unconditionally…not judgmentally nor presuming the worst. Jesus says in John 13, “Love one another as I have loved you”. How did he love you? He gave his life for you. Love in such a way that people see Jesus’ love in you. Blessings on your journey.

What's Love Got to Do with it?

This world has gotten cranky. I mean, every little thing offends us. Sports team mascots, the type of car you drive, people not reciprocating a wave, your political party, your skin color, your church…well the list goes on. We act out when people don’t think like us or live like us and we copy Taylor Swift in singing, “Look what you made me do.” We fail to take ownership of our language, demeanor and actions. We’ve gotten good at the blame-game.

But Jesus calls his followers to a different type of living. In Matthew 5, he says we should be salt and light in the world. In Matthew 25, he reminds us that how we treat others is how we are treating him. And in Mark 12, he sums up our Jesus-Following life into two phrases, “Love God. Love People”. It’s just that simple.

We discover that God’s love is counter-cultural. Look around our nation right now. This country is screaming bigotry and violence on every corner. We are withholding compassion because we are not getting our way. We are in-sighting riots and chaos because we feel slighted that other people don’t think like we do. We are literally burning down our country because we didn’t get our way.

But Jesus through the Gospels is doing things no other rabbi is doing in his culture. He’s touching the leper, the blind, the sick. He’s talking to Roman army officers and healing their people. He’s walking into Gentile homes. He’s standing up for the adulterous woman. He’s interacting with a Samaritan woman at a well. He’s inviting a tax collector into his inner circle then going to a dinner party at his home afterwards. Jesus is counter-cultural. We are called to mirror him in our cultural as well. Be salt. Be light. Be Jesus in our current culture.

God’s love is also selfless. Paul reminds us of what Jesus did for us in Ephesians 5:25-27. Paul says to have the kind of love Jesus did for his church. Jesus died…gave his life…for each of us. And we should be that selfless as we interact with our world. Think of others before yourself.

In John 13, Jesus is in the upper room at the last supper with his disciples. Their feet are nasty, dirty, muddy, full of toe jam. Yet the Son of God gets down on his knees with a towel and a basin of water and washes their feet. He even tenderly washes the feet of Judas, who he knows will betray him in a matter of hours. Jesus is selfless and we are called to mirror him in our own lives.

Finally, God’s love is relational. We must break down the stereotypical walls in our cultural and build relationship with those around us…especially with those who don’t look like us. Jesus says in that upper room, “A new covenant or command I give you. Love one another like I have loved you. As I have loved you, love each other.”

Jesus came to give not get. Our country right now is all about getting but that’s not the life we are called to live in Jesus. Jesus says in Mark 10 that he came to serve others, not to be served. He goes on to say those who want to be first must end up being last and slave of all. If you serve like Jesus, people will follow you anywhere. See, our life in him is about showing love NO MATTER the color of skin, culture, background, life choice, denomination, political party, the size of your bank account. It’s an unconditional love!

So that’s the challenge this week. Love like Jesus. Be the servant of all. Put other people’s needs in front of your own. Bring flavor to the world around you. Shine your light into the darkness. What’s love got to do with it? It appears everything! Blessings on your journey.

"More than a Feeling..."

I am a child of the ‘80s. I love most everything about that decade…especially the music. A band out of Boston, Massachusetts started in 1975 and still is touring today. Of course, their name is Boston. They’ve had a great many hits. One of those songs is named “More than a Feeling.” Go ahead and sing the line…you know it!

However, the Apostle John reminds us that the love of God is more than a feeling, it’s a daily lifestyle. As a matter of fact, Paul the Apostle even says in Ephesians 5, “Imitate God (everyday)”. So how do I know how to imitate God?

Well, Jesus tells his disciples in John 14, “It you have seen me, then you’ve seen the Father. Me and the Father are one.” As a follower of Jesus, I simply need to look at the life of Jesus, found in any of the four gospels, and do what Jesus did…live like Jesus…love like Jesus.

You see, John tells us in his letter, 1 John, that love is how we know God. John says, “God IS love.” Most of us imagine him as a harsh referee, or a detached inventor, or a spoiling grandpa but none of these pictures are true. We realize that our God is a good, good Father. That imagine is used 245 times in the New Testament. So if God is a loving Father and we are called to imitate him, then we should also be loving in our life.

Love is also how we see God. In 1 John 4, John reminds us that God loved us before we ever loved him. We are called to this lifestyle of love if you claim to follow Jesus. God showed us his love by sending his only son while we were still sinners. Get your head wrapped around that! While you were rebelling against God, Jesus came for you anyway! What a wonderful God we serve!!

Some ways we might let others see this love of God in is right now could look like helping your older neighbor with the yard work or taking baked goods to those who are shut up in their houses. It might be just handing out cold water at a local event or march. Maybe you could write letters of encouragement to your city leaders letting them know you are praying with them over the city. Or sending a thank you card to the administrators at the school your child attends telling them you are praying for their wisdom and discernment during this difficult season of school.

Because love is how we follow God and we are indebted to him to do so. We ought to be loving on each other, not hating nor being mean-spirited. We follow Jesus and his life reflects a person who was inclusive, loving, forgiving, full of grace and mercy.

The word for “love” John uses every time is the Greek word “agape”. This word specifically means “unconditional love”. Love with no strings attached. As followers of Jesus, we do not say, “I’ll love you as long as you do what I want, say what I want you to say, live how I think you should live.” We love even our enemies unconditionally.

God reminds us of how much He loves us in John 3:16. He sent his son so no one would perish but all would have eternal life. And for those of us who follow God’s Son, we were adopted into his family. As children of God then, we follow or act like the Father.

So, be someone who transforms the world around you for good. Be someone who loves unconditionally. Be someone who shines the light of Jesus in everything you do. Blessings on your journey.

We need mom!

“God couldn’t be everywhere, so He made mothers.” While not theologically accurate, this old Jewish saying describes beautifully the significant role mothers have in our lives.

Motherhood is one of God’s greatest gifts to humanity. A loving, committed mother is an indispensable person in our development. Just imagine a world without mom. It would be a sterile place indeed. Mothers instill powerful social and nurturing characteristics in each generation. It is principally from their mothers that children learn the virtues of sacrifice, sharing, valuing others, compassion, community and a host of other interpersonal values and skills that enable humans to live together in peace.

Women are designed for self-sacrifice. Mothers are designed by God to nurture. There is just no greater nurturing power on the planet than a mother. When the apostle Paul was describing his love for the church at Thessalonica, he used the metaphor of a mother’s love to describe how deeply he cared for them. He reminded them that he was like a “gentle” mother who “tenderly cares for her own children” (1 Thessalonians 2:7). When God described His love for Israel, he did so with a motherhood metaphor. He told Israel that He would comfort them like a mother comforts her children (Isaiah 66:13).

I am reminded of the closing chapters of the great biblical book of wisdom, the book of Proverbs. The book that has helped billions through millennia live better lives closes with a great testimonial tribute to women. They speak of the beautiful, indispensable role that women play in God’s creation. After 30 chapters of directions on living the good, godly, noble life, Proverbs closes with these words: “Her children rise up and bless her; Her husband also, and he praises her, saying, ‘Many daughters have done nobly, But you excel them all.’ Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her the product of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates” (Proverbs 31:28-31).

The best of all that God designed a woman to be is expressed in motherhood. Not one of us came into this world without a mother. Motherhood is a conscious, deliberate decision made by a woman to enter that noble, God-like act of loving self-sacrifice to participate with the God of all creation to bring a new life into the world—you!

So, while Mother’s Day is over, never stop telling that special woman how much you love and appreciate her. We all need mom and she needs to hear you do. Blessings on your journey.