What Does Healthy Mean?

Disagreements abound. Just look at social media and see all the arguments and comparisons. Everyone has an opinion, even when it’s not in their expert view nor in their wheelhouse of operation. Churches are not immune.

At the last church I work, there was a dad who was a Nazi about unplugging extension cords. After class each Sunday, my first desire was to connect to teens after class, not put away all the equipment. He and I went round and round about priorities until finally one day, he simply hid all the extension cords so I could not do my job. We fight about the most trivial things in a church family.

Paul is addressing this very thing in his letter to the Philippians. Relationships are messy but that doesn’t mean we ignore issues and pretend they don’t exist. So, in Philippians 4:1-5, Paul begins the chapter reminding the church what healthy looks like.

Paul says the church should have a big heart full of love for each other. He uses words of affinity for the church. I mean, orthodoxy and holiness are important but according to Jesus, not more important than love for each other. John 13, Jesus tells us the love is how the world will know you are mine.

Paul goes on to say the church should also have a firm stance in the Gospel message. Fourteen times in the New Testament, we are called to stand firm. It gives the suggestion that there may be times we, as Christians, tend to hide or run or camouflage who we are. But Paul wants us to look like Jesus and proclaim his love for the world.

A healthy church has a warm embrace. We are called to love each other. The two women mentioned in chapter four are in a disagreement that seems to be polarizing the church. Paul says, “Look, you both belong to the Lord so work it out.”

When a band plays, it is a blend of different instruments. But the song is only produced when the band leader is calling the pieces together to play their part. It’s the same in the church. Jesus is our leader. He’s calling each of us to use our giftedness and create a blended harmony with each other for one purpose…to show Jesus to the world.

A healthy church also has a joyful soul. Paul says “rejoice in the Lord and again I say rejoice.” But sometimes, life happens in unexpected ways and it’s hard to rejoice. When your baby only lives a few hours after birth, it’s hard to rejoice. When the divorce gets ugly and very public, it’s hard to rejoice. When your spouse is suddenly taken away at a young age, it’s hard to rejoice. Paul lists all the trouble he had in 2 Corinthians 6 because he followed Jesus. But Paul is saying even when life is not turning out like you hoped, in Christ, we can rejoice.

Sometimes, we have disagreements. Sometimes we’ve been hurt by people who call themselves Christians. You were not included because you were single. You were looked down on because of the divorce. You were gossiped about because of a weekend you made a poor choice. You were ostracized because you look different than most people at your church. I want to say, “I so sorry.” That’s not how the church was designed.

But I want to challenge you. Jesus never said, “Follow my church” or “Follow the pastor” or “Follow my people.” No, Jesus said, “Follow me.” Don’t take out on Jesus what others have done to you. It’s time to settle differences. It’s time to allow Jesus to heal. It’s time to get healthy. Blessings on your journey.

You are Not Replaceable!

I had moments growing up when my parents stepped in for support. They helped me edit and finish that paper for English class, let me cry on their shoulder after that first breakup and reminded me I’m a good worker after the first job I didn’t get. What they were doing was reminding me that I’m part of the family, I’m enough, I’m important…I am not replaceable.

Jesus reminds us of how important we are to our Heavenly Father. Jesus tells a story in Matthew 18 about this shepherd who loves his sheep. The shepherd keeps the lions and wolves away. He leads them to water and green grass. He cares for them. But one morning after counting, he notices one is missing. So, he leaves the 99 in the pen and goes to find the missing sheep. He puts the sheep on his shoulders and brings him back home. That’s how much God loves you. He’s willing to go find you, care for you, love on you.

As a follower of Jesus, we are part of a larger believing group called the Church. And Paul likens each of us to a part of our physical body. In 1 Corinthians 12, Paul reminds us that we each are important in the church. No one is more important than anyone else. When we come together as the church, we become the hands of Jesus as we serve those around us. We become the feet of Jesus as we take the Gospel to places that need to hear it. We become the mouth of Jesus as we speak peace into this world. And we become the heart of Jesus we to choose to love and show compassion to those around us.

Paul reminds us, though, to live fully into the Kingdom, each of us must do our part. Every part of the body matters, even if you think you are not important. I can do a little on my own but partnered with you and the Holy Spirit, all things are possible.

Now, there are moments when your arm or leg go to sleep. It feels tingly and “dead”. You have to work it to get it going again. Unfortunately, some of us in the church are asleep. We’ve decided to sit on the sideline and not be involved in actively being a part of the church. We think we don’t have much to offer and someone has told us we can’t so we believe them. But God has already told you if you are found in Christ, you are an adopted son or daughter. You’re part of the family. You belong.

So know, your presence is important in the body. The church needs your talents, giftedness and presence. Together, with the Holy Spirit, all things are possible. Nothing is impossible with God. Blessings on the journey.

Your Best Friend isn't a Dog.

We’re all wired to want to be in the “know”. We want wisdom and smarts. It’s been that way since the beginning of recorded time. The story of Adam and Eve is evidence. God says “Don’t go near the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.” Eventually, Adam and Eve could not resist so they ate the fruit because they wanted to be in the “know”.

James tells us in James 1:5, “If you want wisdom, ask God and He will give it to you.” Jesus says in Matthew 6:33, “Seek God’s Kingdom, live righteously, and God will give you everything else you need”….(including wisdom). But there is secondary way to gain wisdom. We must first acknowledge it doesn’t happen overnight but is a life-long endeavor.

We realize we can’t build a life of wisdom by ourselves. And we have learned during COVID-19, we are better together than apart! We do seek wisdom from God first but God also embraces the value of people in your life. I’ve often said, “You show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.” So let me encourage you three different ways today.

Develop healthy friendships. Proverbs 18:1 talks about being in isolation. But we discover that isolation is the enemy of wisdom. Indeed, it invites pride and arrogance and is a sign of immaturity. God said in Genesis, “Let US make humans in our image.” It’s an indication God has always lived in community. Since we are created in his image, we also are called to live in community and not isolated.

You need to find godly friends you can be connected to through Bible study and a small group setting. a Kenyan proverb says, “if you want to go fast, go alone; if you want to go far, take others.” We learned over these last six months, we need each other!

Also invite Godly counsel. Allow others into your world to act as guardrails. Give permission for a close group of friends to be honest about your life and tell you when things are great or when things need to be better. We need straight-shooters in our lives. People who will be honest and revealing about our life and whether or not we look like Jesus. Find people you trust and give them permission to speak into your life.

Finally, invest in relationships that pull you up rather than pull you down. Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” I refuse to be connected to negative people. Folks who only see the bad and that the glass is half empty. Those kind of people will demoralize and depress you…help take your eyes off of all that God is really doing in your life and the world. If you have them in your life, find a way to move away from them. You don’t need them.

So, how do I accomplish these ideas? Well, every church family should have three circles and I’m advocating you need to be in every one of them to gain great godly wisdom for life.

The large circle is the Sunday morning experience. Recommit to being at a large group gathering once a week to celebrate Jesus in a big group. Sunday morning service has been the traditional moment for this. You all sing together, dig into the Word of God together and take communion together. It’s a huge encouragement as you all celebrate Jesus as one big family.

The medium circle is the small group or Bible study time. Usually, this group is 10-15 people digging deep into God’s Word really discovering practically how to live out what God calls us to do. You pray personally for each other…sometimes there is a meal involved. You journey in life together and take care of each other’s needs.

Finally, there’s service. Each of us has a spiritual gift. Discover what you are passionate about and use that to serve others. Maybe you enjoy teaching young kids about Jesus so find your Children’s pastor and work with the kids. Maybe you enjoy teens so you are willing to be a chaperone or host a group in your home. Maybe you love AV and tech so on Sunday’s, you’re in the sound booth bringing together media, lights, sound. Find your passion and start serving others with others.

Ask God for wisdom and he’ll give it generously. But being with others will also impart wisdom so discover how you’ll be involved in the “circles”. Don’t wait! Start today finding ways to get “smart”. Blessings on the journey.

Home is where family is...

Did you ever see eye to eye with your siblings? Your parents? Even yourself? We’ve all grown up in a family where we celebrated joy and accomplishment together and we also weathered storms together. But no matter how we disagreed, we never left each other. We may have had moments of silence and separation but eventually, we worked it out. Why? Because we are family.

The church is the same way. We are family. We journey together. We may not always get along or see things each other’s way but we don’t walk out on each other. We communicate. We become empathetic. We work it out and meet somewhere in the middle. But we don’t just walk out on each other…that is if we are truly trying to be the body of Christ.

In Acts 2:42-47, we see the description of something radical in that first century. Social groups who were very different but allowing Jesus to unite them in unity…to become family. Even though in that church there were Jews and Gentiles, men and women, slave owners and slaves, merchants and paupers, they all felt equal and united in Jesus. We see them meeting in each other’s houses, taking meals together, selling things and giving money away. They were truly acting like a family, exactly how Jesus had designed it. And we see a couple of things that described them to make this new life happen well.

That first church acted as one family filled with the Holy Spirit. When you look at their life, we know they realized they were created to be in community lifting up the one Savior who made it possible. Even Jesus prayed for the church’s unity. In John 17, Jesus prays for us today saying, “May we be unified to each other like Jesus and Father are unified.”

They were discarding anger, rage, harsh words, selfish thoughts (Ephesians 4) and looking like Jesus. The only way to overcome our selfish desires is to be filled with the Holy Spirit.

But they were also one family who had emptied “self”. They realized in Jesus, it was all about serving others and inclusiveness. The type of life Jesus had exampled for us. That first church wanted to look like Jesus and start this radical new community of people who were trying to look like him. The Greek word for that is “ecclesia”. It means “set apart” or “called out”. The church is different from the world. It treats God’s creation differently than the world. The church is called out from the world to be an example of family, community, Jesus.

And today, we are called to live the same way. To be the light for the world around us. We’re called to stop in fighting, stop the hatefulness, stop the self-centeredness. As we look at that first church, we see people who had surrendered to Jesus and were living in such a way the world was taking notice. So, how are you living? Are you looking like Jesus or fighting to get your way? It’s time to leave behind the script the world gives out and live into a life like Jesus. Blessings on your journey.

All in the Family.

You have had those moments when you had that fight with your sibling from coming into your room while you were gone. That moment when your parents and you didn’t see eye to eye on the person you were dating. And that embarrassing moment with your grandparent corrected you in front of everyone…and you were 32 years old. We’ve all had difficult moments in our physical families but that didn’t mean we left and never came back. They are family so through thick and thin, good and bad times, you stuck it out.

That’s the type of stick-to-itiveness that Paul calls us to with our spiritual family in Ephesians 4. Look, we’ve all had moments when we’ve been annoyed with someone’s actions and words in our church family. There have been heated discussions about theology and ministry where we didn’t see eye to eye with the one “running the show”. But that is never cause to leave because we are family with Jesus being the oldest brother.

We learn through the example of the New Testament church, that although we are many people, we are one family. And in our family, we should be able to be authentic and real. Even in dire moments, we know we have each other’s back because that’s what family does. We take time to listen to our stories, pray together, encourage each other, do life together (see Acts 2:42-47).

Jesus calls us to be salt and light in the world (Matthew 5:13-16). And when we stand with each other and support one another, the world takes notice because it doesn’t have that. We may disagree on some things but we never let that stand in the way of our exhibited love for each other.

It’s a reminder that we also stand for each other. We actually want each other to succeed. So with patience, forgiveness and love, we stand together knowing none of us are perfect. Only one family member is and his name is Jesus Christ.

Paul reminds us that we, the church, are like a human body. Every member is important. No member can say “I don’t need that person or that family”. We discover that when all the parts of our spiritual family are functioning, the body of Christ is everything it was designed to be. We can fulfill our mission.

Finally, we discover that together, we can accomplish the mission. The mission of God is realizing our call to tell the Gospel story. It’s the story of a God who loves his creation so much He sent his Son to die for us so we might live. And when the family of God is loving on each other, we have the opportunity to be that storytelling salt and light in this chaotic world.

Together we are stronger for Jesus. Together we can get through anything. Together we represent Jesus and everything this world needs. Blessings on the journey.

Following means Family

Sometimes families are weird. We’ve all got a crazy uncle. We’ve all got moments that wrecked is for just a little bit. I remember I had a cousin who was several years older than I was and he worked for a security company. Once at his house, he used his handcuffs to cuff me to a door knob and walked away. I cried forever. That is a little crazy. You’ve got moments with your family like that too.

It’s interesting and appropriate that the New Testament talks about our fellow followers of Christ as family. Paul mentions that idea to Timothy in 1 Timothy 3 where he says, “…if I’m delayed, you’ll know how everyone who belongs to God’s family ought to behave.” Paul and other followers acknowledged that as followers of Jesus, we are all family.

Now, we don’t always get it right. We mess up, stub our toe, don’t say the right thing, look hypocritical in the church. We’re human. But we’re like family. While we love Jesus and try to look like him everyday, we don’t always shine.

And Jesus calls us to really follow him. In Luke 14, there’s a large crowd traveling with Jesus. Jesus uses some hyperbolic language to make the point that you’re either following him or just traveling with him. And if you’re following him, it’s going to cost you something. You’ll have to give something up. So Jesus calls us to love him more than our parents, our spouse and kids, more than our physical brothers and sisters. If you’re following him, you’re called to love him more than anything else.

As we look at Jesus’ life and that first century church, we come to realize that you can’t follow Jesus by yourself. You become part of the family, or the church. See you can’t follow Jesus solo. We follow Jesus as a family. Many of us believe that we’ve got to get it all together, be close to perfect before we start following. But that’s just not true.

You look at some of the guys that Jesus called to follow him. Matthew a tax collector was a that bottom of the “sin ladder” in Jesus’ culture. By all accounts, Matthew was far from having it all together yet Jesus called him to follow. Simon the Zealot, a Jewish assassin, wanted to get rid of the Romans in Israel and was willing to kill them to do it. He was far from having it all together. Yet, Jesus called him to follow. All of these people were called to be part of the family…to follow.

And Jesus calls you too. None of us have it all together. But Jesus is the one who will make us perfect. He’s calling you to be a part of his family…a part of his church. So together, as family, we’ll follow Jesus and He’ll transform us as we go. Blessings on your journey.