What Does Healthy Mean?

Disagreements abound. Just look at social media and see all the arguments and comparisons. Everyone has an opinion, even when it’s not in their expert view nor in their wheelhouse of operation. Churches are not immune.

At the last church I work, there was a dad who was a Nazi about unplugging extension cords. After class each Sunday, my first desire was to connect to teens after class, not put away all the equipment. He and I went round and round about priorities until finally one day, he simply hid all the extension cords so I could not do my job. We fight about the most trivial things in a church family.

Paul is addressing this very thing in his letter to the Philippians. Relationships are messy but that doesn’t mean we ignore issues and pretend they don’t exist. So, in Philippians 4:1-5, Paul begins the chapter reminding the church what healthy looks like.

Paul says the church should have a big heart full of love for each other. He uses words of affinity for the church. I mean, orthodoxy and holiness are important but according to Jesus, not more important than love for each other. John 13, Jesus tells us the love is how the world will know you are mine.

Paul goes on to say the church should also have a firm stance in the Gospel message. Fourteen times in the New Testament, we are called to stand firm. It gives the suggestion that there may be times we, as Christians, tend to hide or run or camouflage who we are. But Paul wants us to look like Jesus and proclaim his love for the world.

A healthy church has a warm embrace. We are called to love each other. The two women mentioned in chapter four are in a disagreement that seems to be polarizing the church. Paul says, “Look, you both belong to the Lord so work it out.”

When a band plays, it is a blend of different instruments. But the song is only produced when the band leader is calling the pieces together to play their part. It’s the same in the church. Jesus is our leader. He’s calling each of us to use our giftedness and create a blended harmony with each other for one purpose…to show Jesus to the world.

A healthy church also has a joyful soul. Paul says “rejoice in the Lord and again I say rejoice.” But sometimes, life happens in unexpected ways and it’s hard to rejoice. When your baby only lives a few hours after birth, it’s hard to rejoice. When the divorce gets ugly and very public, it’s hard to rejoice. When your spouse is suddenly taken away at a young age, it’s hard to rejoice. Paul lists all the trouble he had in 2 Corinthians 6 because he followed Jesus. But Paul is saying even when life is not turning out like you hoped, in Christ, we can rejoice.

Sometimes, we have disagreements. Sometimes we’ve been hurt by people who call themselves Christians. You were not included because you were single. You were looked down on because of the divorce. You were gossiped about because of a weekend you made a poor choice. You were ostracized because you look different than most people at your church. I want to say, “I so sorry.” That’s not how the church was designed.

But I want to challenge you. Jesus never said, “Follow my church” or “Follow the pastor” or “Follow my people.” No, Jesus said, “Follow me.” Don’t take out on Jesus what others have done to you. It’s time to settle differences. It’s time to allow Jesus to heal. It’s time to get healthy. Blessings on your journey.

Foundation Matters.

Last year, I had to have some foundation work done on my house. One hold side had sunk about one inch and the drop had created some cracks in the drywall inside. The crew came out to lift up the house back to level and for a few thousands bucks, everything was right again.

Our relationships with each other are so important. No earthly relationship more important than your marriage. So, building it on the right foundation will make all the difference when the storms of life come. Jesus knew that too and tells us in Matthew 7 about two home builders. One built on bedrock and the other on shifting sand. Storms came with rains, floods and wind. The house built on sand came crashing down.

The material we use to build our marriage is critical. Using the wrong materials will not allow us to withstand the storm. Some of the things that create storms in our marriage are the baggage we bring from past relationships or how we spend or save money or how we discipline the kids or our harsh tones or disrespect. But when we decide to offer mutual respect to each other and offer unconditional love to each other, we find the storms are more likely to be survivable.

See, the storm reveals what materials make up the house. Many times, we first worry about aesthetics in the house rather than the foundation. But Jesus uses the word “Moro” in Matthew 7 in the original language. “Moro” is where we get our English word, “Moron” from. If you don’t pay attention to the foundation your building, Jesus calls you a moron.

So, don’t put undo pressure on your spouse by expecting them to meet every need you have. No one was created to complete you. Like all things, time plus pressure equals a cracked foundation. Equally, don’t create moments where unreasonable disappointment will exists. When your spouse doesn’t live up to your expectations, you feel disappointed. Then, you’ll begin looking for someone else to make you “feel” like you hoped someone else would.

At the end of the day, no relationship will ever be as intimate, as deep, as close as you hoped for without Jesus Christ in the middle of it. So, start today making Jesus the priority in your relationship. It’s the most impactful thing you can do to create a long-lasting one. Also, start today praying together out loud while holding hands. Do this for two weeks and see the difference it makes in your relationship. Blessings on the journey.