The Value of True Friendship.

A lot has been said about friends and friendship over the years: “A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.” (Bernard Meltzer), “Friendship is accepting a person with all their qualities – good and bad,” (Mohanla) and “Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer.” (Ed Cunningham) But perhaps the words that come closest to the truth are those spoken by William Temple: “The greatest medicine is a true friend.”

In all my years of living and doing ministry among families, I found that as people grow older, their friendships play an increasingly greater role in determining their health and wellbeing. You can see it play out with folks who choose to isolate themselves or choose to get involved in the lives of the people they interact with every single day.

As I have considered how important it is to be with people, here are three easy ways to nurture your most valuable friendships.

Put time and energy into them.

It’s very easy in today’s tech-driven world to sit back and let Facebook and other social media platforms manage your friendships for you. But the truth is that no number of likes can exceed the importance of face-to-face time with a friend. So, make it a priority to spend time with your friends whether you decide to meet up for a walk, go out for a meal together, meet up for a cup of coffee or have a regular game night at your house

Listen more than you speak.

While friendships are definitely a two-way street, good friends understand the value of putting others first, so before you rush in and download your long list of news, take the time to listen instead – it’ll build a stronger connection.

Be open and honest.

Honestly is always the best policy and even more so when it comes to your friendships as being honest with someone builds trust and trust is the foundation of all successful relationships. Just remember: When you’re being honest with friends, take a gentle approach – you don’t want to end up causing permanent damage to your friendship.

Being with other people is a part of the Christian walk. You cannot look like Jesus and decide you don’t like people. So get out of your comfort zone. Let those in your life you value know you care about them. Blessings on the journey.

Your Best Friend isn't a Dog.

We’re all wired to want to be in the “know”. We want wisdom and smarts. It’s been that way since the beginning of recorded time. The story of Adam and Eve is evidence. God says “Don’t go near the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.” Eventually, Adam and Eve could not resist so they ate the fruit because they wanted to be in the “know”.

James tells us in James 1:5, “If you want wisdom, ask God and He will give it to you.” Jesus says in Matthew 6:33, “Seek God’s Kingdom, live righteously, and God will give you everything else you need”….(including wisdom). But there is secondary way to gain wisdom. We must first acknowledge it doesn’t happen overnight but is a life-long endeavor.

We realize we can’t build a life of wisdom by ourselves. And we have learned during COVID-19, we are better together than apart! We do seek wisdom from God first but God also embraces the value of people in your life. I’ve often said, “You show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.” So let me encourage you three different ways today.

Develop healthy friendships. Proverbs 18:1 talks about being in isolation. But we discover that isolation is the enemy of wisdom. Indeed, it invites pride and arrogance and is a sign of immaturity. God said in Genesis, “Let US make humans in our image.” It’s an indication God has always lived in community. Since we are created in his image, we also are called to live in community and not isolated.

You need to find godly friends you can be connected to through Bible study and a small group setting. a Kenyan proverb says, “if you want to go fast, go alone; if you want to go far, take others.” We learned over these last six months, we need each other!

Also invite Godly counsel. Allow others into your world to act as guardrails. Give permission for a close group of friends to be honest about your life and tell you when things are great or when things need to be better. We need straight-shooters in our lives. People who will be honest and revealing about our life and whether or not we look like Jesus. Find people you trust and give them permission to speak into your life.

Finally, invest in relationships that pull you up rather than pull you down. Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” I refuse to be connected to negative people. Folks who only see the bad and that the glass is half empty. Those kind of people will demoralize and depress you…help take your eyes off of all that God is really doing in your life and the world. If you have them in your life, find a way to move away from them. You don’t need them.

So, how do I accomplish these ideas? Well, every church family should have three circles and I’m advocating you need to be in every one of them to gain great godly wisdom for life.

The large circle is the Sunday morning experience. Recommit to being at a large group gathering once a week to celebrate Jesus in a big group. Sunday morning service has been the traditional moment for this. You all sing together, dig into the Word of God together and take communion together. It’s a huge encouragement as you all celebrate Jesus as one big family.

The medium circle is the small group or Bible study time. Usually, this group is 10-15 people digging deep into God’s Word really discovering practically how to live out what God calls us to do. You pray personally for each other…sometimes there is a meal involved. You journey in life together and take care of each other’s needs.

Finally, there’s service. Each of us has a spiritual gift. Discover what you are passionate about and use that to serve others. Maybe you enjoy teaching young kids about Jesus so find your Children’s pastor and work with the kids. Maybe you enjoy teens so you are willing to be a chaperone or host a group in your home. Maybe you love AV and tech so on Sunday’s, you’re in the sound booth bringing together media, lights, sound. Find your passion and start serving others with others.

Ask God for wisdom and he’ll give it generously. But being with others will also impart wisdom so discover how you’ll be involved in the “circles”. Don’t wait! Start today finding ways to get “smart”. Blessings on the journey.