You Can Fix It Yourself.

We live in a DIY world. Every Saturday, I try to watch at least one house flipping show because I love that kind of stuff. It’s reassuring to me that I can save tons of money on labor if I do the work myself. I typically look at a project and say, “I think I can do that myself.” We’ve all been saying that since we were 3 years old though.

But many times in our adult life when we say this, it really isn’t true. It’s the lie of pride that states I don’t need anyone else. We are desperate to cover up imperfection, hide mistakes, not admit fault or that we are even capable of doing something so we just say, “I can fix it myself.”

Sometimes the thing we are fixing is the person we are married to or our kids or our coworker. Sometimes we are fixing a financial situation, our marriage, an addiction, a health issue, a broken relationship or a secret sin. Here in the good ole USA, we pride ourselves on being individualists. We celebrate self-starters and self-sustainers. It’s our mentality to not include others because after all, I can fix it myself. And this idea has been around for a long, long time.

Sarah thought this when she and Abraham were past childbearing years in Genesis 16. God had told them they would have a baby and their offspring would be more than the stars in the sky. They were an old couple so Sarah gave her servant, Hagar, to Abraham thinking that’s how God will do it. I can fix this myself. Hagar and Abram had a child together. All the issues between Muslims and Jews and Muslims and Christians can be traced to Genesis 16 where one person decided they could fix the issue by themselves.

If we buy into this lie, I can fix it myself, several things happen to us in our lives. First it increases pride. “I don’t need anything else or anyone to help me.” I can do it on my own is inherently prideful. As followers of Jesus, we are called to be humble and part of a community. Pride goes before a fall so the Bible says.

When we believe this lie, it minimizes the problem saying it’s nothing I can’t handle. We end up usually making the situation worse than it ever was and to avoid embarrassment, we just say it’s no big deal.

It can also feed guilt and shame. Internally, we acknowledge the mess of our situation and the reality that I can’t really clean it up. I can’t put it back in the package like it was before. So I take on guilt and wear it like a bad suit. Carrying the guilt intensifies the fallout. We think, “I can’t believe I let it get this bad.” We typically realize this too late when our addictive personality keeps bringing us back to the porn site or the intake of alcohol or drugs.

This lie will rob us of relational intimacy. We are ashamed of our situation because we thought we could handle it so we are not vulnerable enough to admit we need help. It can be the reason we avoid being in a church small group or attending Sunday morning Bible class. However, when we decide to have relational intimacy, it makes the person we interact with feel valued and helps us feel known.

Finally, when we buy into the lie, it fuels hypocrisy. We dare not let anyone know how broken we are so we put on the mask and pretend all is right as rain.

As a follower of Christ, I realize the truth in Hebrews 4:14-16. Jesus is there for us. He carries the weight. He understands our dilemma. He gets us. Jesus is our high priest who has taken on our guilt and created a pathway to the very throne of God. And because Jesus is our high priest, we can appoach the throne of God with boldness. We don’t have to, indeed we literally cannot do it on our own. We need Jesus. And with Jesus comes the church.

None of us were ever meant to journey alone even though that’s what Satan wants. Jesus calls us to follow him, not to walk alone. The church is the body of Christ so being in the body means we are never alone. If you’ve bought into the lie that you can do it alone, I hope you’ll leave that idea behind and realize you have a high priest who wants to be your advocate, your rock and your soulmate for the journey. Grab his hand and leave the lie behind. Blessings on the journey.

All in this Together.

When you find someone from your town or area, it’s exciting. You could be at Walmart, the doctor’s office or on a cruise. Suddenly, you hear someone mention your home town. You talk to them and it’s an instant bond. You have something huge in common. You know the same roads, stores, schools…you have a commonality.

As followers of Christ, you look at any body of believers and it’s typically a diverse group. You’ll find the educated and the uneducated; you’ll find those with no money and lots of money; you’ll find different skin colors and different nations of origin; you’ll probably hear different languages spoken. But the Apostle Paul tells us in Ephesians 2:1-10, that we are all the same. As believers, we walk together in unity despite our different opinions and backgrounds.

You see, we are all from the same exact place. Paul tells us early in Ephesians 2, we were ALL dead in our sins…that we all USED to live the way of at the world…that we ALL were deserving of God’s anger and wrath. Paul tells us, we are ALL from the same exact place: Deadsville, USA, population: everyone.

Paul also reminds us that we ALL got into the family of God the same way too. If you are an adopted son or daughter of God…if Jesus is your brother, then you are part of the family of God! And the way we all got in was through Jesus and his sacrifice (“so that no one can boast”).

I’ve worked in churches since 1993. I found it fascinating that someone in every church needs to tell me something like, “You know, my grandparents started this church”, or “my family has attended here since 1906”, or “I gave a lot of money to build this church building”, or ‘I’ve been on 23 mission trips”. Paul says, no one can boast. It’s because of Jesus you are in the family. It’s because of grace you have been saved, nothing you have done.

Finally, Paul tells us we ALL have something special to do together. In Ephesians 2:10, Paul says we are God’s masterpiece. The original language uses the Greek word from which we get our English word, poem. Paul says that we are God’s poetry to the world around us.

Paul is calling us to be a sweet aroma to those we come in contact every day for the cause of Christ. Our words and behavior should reflect the unconditional love and grace of Jesus. If we are to boast, we boast in Jesus Christ because it is in Him we have life and life to full.

So that challenge this summer is go be Jesus. Express kindness, peace, and compassion. Hand out love, grace and forgiveness. Speak words of life to those you interact with each day. Blessings on your journey.

The Value of True Friendship.

A lot has been said about friends and friendship over the years: “A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.” (Bernard Meltzer), “Friendship is accepting a person with all their qualities – good and bad,” (Mohanla) and “Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer.” (Ed Cunningham) But perhaps the words that come closest to the truth are those spoken by William Temple: “The greatest medicine is a true friend.”

In all my years of living and doing ministry among families, I found that as people grow older, their friendships play an increasingly greater role in determining their health and wellbeing. You can see it play out with folks who choose to isolate themselves or choose to get involved in the lives of the people they interact with every single day.

As I have considered how important it is to be with people, here are three easy ways to nurture your most valuable friendships.

Put time and energy into them.

It’s very easy in today’s tech-driven world to sit back and let Facebook and other social media platforms manage your friendships for you. But the truth is that no number of likes can exceed the importance of face-to-face time with a friend. So, make it a priority to spend time with your friends whether you decide to meet up for a walk, go out for a meal together, meet up for a cup of coffee or have a regular game night at your house

Listen more than you speak.

While friendships are definitely a two-way street, good friends understand the value of putting others first, so before you rush in and download your long list of news, take the time to listen instead – it’ll build a stronger connection.

Be open and honest.

Honestly is always the best policy and even more so when it comes to your friendships as being honest with someone builds trust and trust is the foundation of all successful relationships. Just remember: When you’re being honest with friends, take a gentle approach – you don’t want to end up causing permanent damage to your friendship.

Being with other people is a part of the Christian walk. You cannot look like Jesus and decide you don’t like people. So get out of your comfort zone. Let those in your life you value know you care about them. Blessings on the journey.

Share Your Spiritual Story.

“But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect” — 1 Peter 3:15, NIV

Christians have something that is very valuable in today’s world: hope. As Christians, our hope is found in Jesus Christ and his redemptive sacrifice for us. 1 Peter 3:15 tells us to “always be prepared to … give a reason for the hope that you have.”

Sharing your faith story might not always be an easy task, especially if you are afraid of being judged or looked at differently because of what you believe. It may seem intimidating at times, however, sharing your faith story is a worthwhile endeavor that can lead to eternal life for those who you tell.

How do you share the Gospel?

“Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous deeds among all peoples.” — Psalms 96:3, NIV

Sharing the Gospel does not have to be a source of stress, rather it can be an exciting chance to share your passion. There are various ways individuals learn how to share the Gospel. Some may try to use tools or visuals. Others may use resources such as the Romans Road, which explores different verses about salvation.

These can be useful if you don’t know what to say, but you do not need anything other than a willing spirit to share with others. The Holy Spirit will touch people’s hearts; your words don’t have to be elaborate or scholarly to teach others. Always remember you can turn to Scripture or a friend if the person you are talking to has questions that you are unsure about.

It is important to show kindness and respect while sharing about Jesus. Not everyone wants to hear about your faith, so try not to take it personally if they are unwilling to listen. Make sure not to be forceful while sharing your story as this does not make for a good witness. What you can do is pray that other people will come along who are more willing to listen to what you have to say.

Share Your Story.

Another good way to share your faith is by sharing your story or testimony. When you share your story one-on-one or in a small group, you form a personal connection. You can tell others about how Jesus has personally impacted you or why you are a Christian. This is also a way to work Christ into a conversation without it being too awkward, because you are sharing your own experience.

For example, if you invite some of your friends over for breakfast, they might bring up a topic that relates to your personal experiences and story, and this gives you a chance to share what Jesus has done for you.

Different people may share their testimonies in different ways. Some individuals may give their testimony in front of a large audience. Others may use their social media influence to spread the Gospel message. Some people may lead Bible study to share God’s word.

No matter how you share the Gospel, know that you are helping plant seeds of hope.

Some people may travel all the way across the world because they want all people groups to know the message of the Gospel. However, you do not have to travel to another continent to share Jesus with others.

Look at the people around you. Have you ever told your family or friends about the wonderful things of God? If not, this can be the perfect opportunity to share your faith. You never know the difference you may make, not only in someone’s life but in their eternity. Blessings on the journey.

Real Life.

COVID has really hampered our getting together. Whether you are talking about family traditions, hanging out with friends, seeing your favorite movie, gathering with your church…everything has been hampered by the almost 2-year pandemic which is ongoing. But we were headed to isolation before the virus ever showed up.

When air conditioning was invented, we moved from the front porch into the house. Then we added the attached garage and garage door opener so we never had to get out of our car before entering our house. Then we fenced the back yard so we didn’t have to look at our neighbors.

With technology coming on in the last two decades, we found new ways to isolate ourselves using voicemail on our cell phones so we didn’t have to answer the phone to ordering online and having groceries delivered to our door to social media where we connect virtually with our “friends”. But we are not created to live in isolation.

The first century church showed us how disciples of Jesus live life together. They realized they could not do life alone and literally hung out together all the time. Read Luke’s account in Acts 2:42-47 and you’ll see what it looked like. They ate together and were in each other’s homes. They went to the market together and to church together. They shared everything they owned and met every day to check on each other. That’s the kind of family we have been born into if you follow Jesus.

See, we live in a country that highly values independence. To be a follower of Jesus is to be the direct opposite of that. Following Jesus is recognizing you must be dependent on Jesus for your salvation and dependent on each other for family and support.

We are called to share the love of Jesus with others in our church and with committed people in community. The writer of Hebrews in chapter 10 calls us to “spur each other on to love and good works, not forsaking getting together to do that.” Being together is so powerful. Presence matters to worship together, to do life together.

And we gain power through the indwelling of God’s Holy Spirit but also by journeying together in small groups. Some of those are small Bible study groups or prayer groups that meet outside of the Sunday morning event. Some of those groups are even smaller groups of followers that hold each other accountable in our life choices.

So the challenge is to lean into how Jesus called us to live. Live out loud together. Make a commitment to be a part of spiritual family. Find others on the journey who will partner with you to study and pray. We’ll have to be purposeful and intentional. It won’t happen on it’s own. We are better together with Jesus in our life and each other in our company. Blessings on the journey.

You have MUCH power here.

Some of us like down time. You know, when it’s quiet and you can collect your thoughts. However, we can’t stay there very long. We were created to be in community. Think about the last time you laughed with a friend so hard you stomach hurt. What about the late night shenanigans moment when you toilet papered someone’s yard…What about the moment you told something that was very private to a close friend and they hugged you up in affirmation?

Yes! We’ve all got moments that we remember when we lived heartily in community. We were made for community…to be together. Now, there are no promises it will always be light and airy with the people we chose to live out life with but tough or easy, we were made to journey together.

God have us family, both physical and spiritual. And in those families we learn what it means to live out loud. There are people in your life that you can name right now that helped you be the person you are today. Go ahead. Say 4 names out loud that poured into you, affirmed you, walked with you, held you up, and cheered for you. Do you remember how you felt? Like someone cared and knew you. But living in community isn’t always about receiving. It’s also about giving.

So now, it’s your turn to pour. Who are the 3-4 people right now that you are walking with? Who are the people in your life that you are affirming and cheering for? You do you pour into?

As people who have been gifted by God, we are equally called to share that giftedness with others. Now, it stands to reason that of course you’d cheer for your kids or grandkids. You no doubt are affirming your spouse. Those are given. I mean if you aren’t pouring into them, who will. So beyond those people, who this year have you chosen to walk with.

You know, Paul in Ephesians 4:11 reminds us that we have gifts and it’s our responsibility to equip God’s people to do his work and build up other Jesus followers. If you find yourself creating excuses of why you are not doing that, I feel you. We all could create multiple reasons why we can’t cheer for, affirm or pour into anyone. But then, I’d look like every other person in the world but we’re called to be different.

No matter where you are, decide today, right now, in this moment, you’re going to be different…that you’re going to pay it forward. Someone lifted you. Now, it’s your turn. May God grant you the vision to see who you can walk with. May God allow room and margin on your calendar to find someone to affirm and cheer. We were made for community. The call as a follower of Jesus is to live that way. Blessings on your journey.

Falling in Love

I played football all through my junior high and senior high school years. I really had fun and learned a lot about team or being a part of a community that has one purpose. I remember one rainy night, we were playing Ozark. We had been backed up about 15 yards outside our goal line and it was time to punt. Our coach called a fake where I received the ball and slipped it under the legs of another running back. I ran the right play but all the blocking and the other running back went the opposite way. I was tackled immediately. An example of what happens when we all aren’t doing what we are supposed to do.

The community of believers, the church, is much the same way. Jesus says in John 13:34 that he’s given us, his disciples, a new command to love each other just like He’s loved us. The Greek word used there is agape which means unconditional love…no strings attached. Jesus says the world will know we are followers of Jesus when we love unconditionally.

Agape means “I love you in spite of…”. In spite of the hurtful words you said or the way you treated my spouse. In spite of you neglecting my children by not inviting them or in spite of the lifestyle you choose instead of what I think you should have chosen.

You see, that is how Jesus loves you. He loves you in spite of the sin in your life. He loves you in spite of the poor decision making that has plagued you. He loves you in spite of you being you. Paul reminds us of that in Romans 5 where he says, “God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.”

So he calls us to imitate him and when we do, the world will take notice. They will see the beautiful story of Jesus through our actions and words. “Love people as I have loved you.” When we decide to love no matter what, then we know God and our life becomes a beautiful representation of how we have been loved by a beautifully risen Savior.