Marriage is a Partnership

Genesis 2 and 3 remind us that Adam and Eve were in it together, during the good and bad, for life. As we look at the totality of Scripture, we see the picture painted that marriage is more than a contract or marriage license, it’s a holy covenant between two people and God.

See, a contract is based on mutual distrust. Since I don’t know you well enough to take you at your word, I’m making you sign a piece of paper that commits you to follow through to do what you said you would do.

A covenant though is based on mutual commitment. The original Hebrew word means a cutting, binding agreement. In ancient times, two people would bring animals to the agreement, cut them in half then walk through the blood of the sacrifice. In doing so, they were saying, “May I be as these animals if I don’t follow through with my end of the bargain.” It was a powerful reminder of the intensity of the promise.

In marriage, a covenant partnership is Godly leadership and mutual submission. Paul reminds Christ followers what that looks like in Ephesians 5:21-33. The first thing Paul says is that each spouse submits to the other out of reverence for Jesus. In other words, because of what Jesus did for us (He died for us), we submit to one another. Paul goes on to say that when we choose to love and respect each other, a beautiful union happens between married couples.

Your marriage will be as good as both of YOU decide it will be. You can’t always change the person you are with but you can change you. It won’t ever be easy. There is always a choice. And it will always, always, always take dying to self.

We can be united or untied. The difference is where the “I” is located. And where should the “I” be located? Submitted to Christ. If we all will do that, our relationships will be more beautiful than we ever could have planned on our own. Blessings on your journey.

The Moment You Think...

You have a comeback story of some kind. Maybe it was a moment you stood up to the bully on the playground. It might have been a business venture that turned around because of a decision you made. Maybe you repaired a relationship because of the words you chose to say. We’ve all had moments when we had a come back. But the most incredible come back of all time would be Jesus being killed then rising from the dead.

When Jesus died, the disciples thought it was all over. They were there when he was arrested, beaten, crucified then place in a tomb. There was no question, he was dead and gone. Can you imagine what when through their minds on Friday night and all day Saturday? They thought they had wasted 3 years. They were confused, heartbroken, lost. God had forsaken them.

That may be the way you feel in your story. You are working through the failed marriage, the loss of a career, a horrible doctor’s report or a moment where you are living with depression and darkness. But like the disciples, while you may be living in a valley moment that feels like Friday and Saturday, know that Sunday’s coming.

Then there’s the moment you start to believe things are actually different than you first thought. When you’re talking about dying then rising 3 days later, well that’s a tough story to hear. Some of us believe in Easter but more of a family holiday or a church ritual, not necessarily that Jesus rose from the dead. But the disciples realized it was true! They bet their very lives on it.

Did you know the apostle Paul reminds us in Ephesians 1 that the very power that raised Jesus from the dead lives in you as a believer. Think about that for a moment. The incredible true story of Jesus rising from death is your story as well. Just like Jesus, you can rise from your difficult story because you believe.

Then finally there’s the moment your celebration begins because you know it’s all true. Jesus appeared from between 1-500 people after his resurrection. The disciples are told to wait in Jerusalem for the Holy Spirit to indwell in them and that’s exactly what happens. We know they were different acting people because of the power of Jesus. In Acts 1, we see a scared, fearful, chaotic group of followers. By Acts 2 after the Holy Spirit comes, the disciples are bold, preaching publicly, and convicting others by their lives.

So no matter where you are in your story, know you can rise through the power of Jesus. In Him, you can have life and life to the full. You can lay your burden down and celebrate in the arms of a risen Savior. But it’s your choice. Choose life and life in Jesus. Blessings on the journey.

From Under the Cross.

A Roman centurion who saw the crucifixion at very close range was in prime position to be an eyewitness to Jesus’ final hours. So, there’s this: “Now the centurion, and those who were with him keeping guard over Jesus, when they saw the earthquake and the things that were happening, became very frightened and said, “Truly this was the Son of God!” (Matthew 27:54 NASB)

This is one of the most unsolicited and surprising eyewitness testimonies about Jesus. Take a look at the one who spoke. A typical Roman centurion 1) was not Jewish. He didn’t know about any of the ancient prophecies and certainly wasn’t looking for a deliverer from Rome. 2) He was probably accustomed to crucifixion as part of his job, so he should have been harder to impress by any run-of-the-mill Crucifixion. 3) Was a military commander based on merit, so they usually rose through the ranks and were experienced, competent men. 4) Had usually been on campaigns (and was probably here) far away from home. As a result, his level of worldly understanding was probably greater than the average villager’s.

This centurion had probably not personally seen Jesus’ miracles or heard him teach. (Why would he? He had been doing his job occupying Judea, not following Rabbis around…) In all likelihood the only exposure he ever had to the Son of God was as a battered, humiliated criminal who was facing his last hours on earth.

He was not steeped in the Hebrew Scriptures or looking for a Messiah, and of all the people Jesus encountered he perhaps would have known the least about Jesus’ background, reputation, and wisdom. It just wasn’t in a Centurion’s job description to know. He never sat in the temple courts and listened to this Rabbi, and he never saw him turn water into wine or calm the wind and the waves…

It’s likely, though, that while doing his job he HAD seen other crucifixions. They were messy, drawn-out, boring events with the same inevitable outcome… The soldiers were so bored with death that they whiled away the time gambling for the criminals’ meager possessions. Yet somehow THIS crucifixion was different. This crucifixion challenged the centurion’s view of the world. It made him look at Jesus differently as well. It may have been the earthquake and the upheaval surrounding Jesus’ death that changed his perspective, but I think it was more than that.

Maybe it was the dignity that Christ carried with him to the cross; perhaps it was the things Jesus said to the criminals who were being crucified alongside him. Or, maybe it was the fact that he said, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” Perhaps it was merely the look in Jesus’ eyes that challenged and convicted third-party observers to see him as more than a convict getting his just reward…

Whatever it was, the Roman centurion watched Jesus die. It was perhaps their only encounter. He went from seeing Jesus as a common Jewish criminal to seeing him as the Son of God. Pause and reflect on those days in Jerusalem. Think about all the different observers of the events surrounding Jesus’ death. Consider all of the different players that participated in the crucifixion. There was no way to know it was an event that signaled the end of an empire, and the beginning of a kingdom.

But now we know it was the beginning of something spectacular. No doubt, Jesus as has changed your life too. In what ways are you more blessed by knowing Him? How are things different for you because of Easter? May you always be reflective on how the Son of God has changed your life forever. Blessings on your journey.

The Witness of Pilate.

What happens when your life collides with Jesus’ life? You hear so many people say the phrase, “I never saw that coming.” It could be that a spouse is unfaithful and the other says it. It could be a hard worker gets let go from their employment and says it. It could be a long time pastor leaves a church and the congregation says it.

So many unexpected things happen to us in life. And I have found when they do and you find yourself in a valley moment, you have the opportunity to turn to Jesus and let him embrace you, love you and tell you that He’s got you.

In Matthew 27, we read how Pilate interacts with Jesus. As Pilate hears Jesus’ story, hears the crowd, hears the religious leaders and 3 days later, hears the story of Jesus’ resurrection, I’m guessing Pilate would have said, “I never saw that coming!” But things happen in life when your life collides with Jesus.

See, Jesus collides with public opinion. Pilate is swayed by public opinion and gives Jesus up to be killed. The world does care for what Jesus stands for: love, forgiveness, mercy, compassion to name a few. The world is all about “me”. But so many are waiting on someone to lead, to say “enough”, to genuinely care for the world like Jesus does. So lead.

Jesus also collides with personal life. Jesus is always messing with your relationships, in a good way. He has a tough saying in Matthew 10 where he says he will turn father against son, mother against daughter, in-laws against in-laws. It sounds rough but Jesus is saying, when you follow me and others don’t, it will create tension in your relationships.

Jesus also collides with our professional aspirations. Pilate didn’t want trouble but Jesus brought a lot for him. I worked for Walmart for 11 years and became a store manager. If I had stayed with them, I could have retired at 47 and never thought twice about money again. But God called me into ministry to do kingdom work and I’m so glad I listened. Jesus will reorient your direction when you interact with him and realize He is who He said he was.

Pilate asked the crowd, “What should I do with Jesus?” It’s the question each of us ask every day we follow Him. So the call is to make Him Lord of your life. Paul tells us in Romans 14 that every knee will bend and profess Jesus is Lord! He is the King of kings and Lord of lords; the Prince of Peace who wants to change your life forever. Blessings on your journey.

Be Missional Right Where You Are.

Most of us that are 50 years and older remember carrying an Atlas map with us in the car to get around. Before Google maps, you had to find out where you were on the map, discover where you were going then decide which road got you to your destination the best. Of course now, a computer figures all that out for you.

So in Acts 1 when Jesus commissions his disciples, he reminds them they will be his witnesses in “Jerusalem, Judea, Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” So too we have been commissioned to “go” to the ends of the earth, starting right where we are first. In order to be witnesses to what Jesus has done for us in our lives, there are a few things we can remember.

First, be present right where you are. Currently, our phones are such a huge distraction. We are constantly looking at them, even when we are with other people. We must discipline ourselves to focus on the people God puts in our path and interact with them for the cause of Christ. Jesus has passed the torch to us to be his witnesses and it’s hard to do that if you’re looking down.

When I was working on my MDiv, a great mentor of mine reminded me I’ll always have a book to read, a paper to write, and a test for which to study. My two boys who were very young at the time would not always be little to don’t miss the window of opportunity with them. So on my way home from my 5-year graduate level schooling, I found a landmark. When I arrived at the landmark, I’d stop thinking about school and start getting ready to interact with my boys and my wife. Being present with them has paid off. Be present with the people God has placed in your life.

Secondly, be prayerful. In Acts 1:14, we are reminded the followers of Jesus were praying constantly. We should be in prayer everyday that God would open our eyes to the appointments He sends us daily to be a witness. Prayer is the conversation you have with God that the Holy Spirit carries into the throne room of God. Be disciplined enough to pray when you driving, walking, working, and laying down. Ask God to reveal where He is working in the world and how you can join Him in what He’s already doing.

Finally, be perceptive. The seemingly smallest interactions are moments to be a witness and share the love God has extended to you. When you drop your kiddo off at school or use the crosswalk with your child. Teachers and volunteers can be reminded about God’s love through you. It could be the dentist or doctor you’ll see today needs some compassion extended. Maybe your boss or coworker needs to be reminded through you they are loved by God.

So be open and ready in every opportunity God will give you. Whether you are headed to worship on a Sunday morning or on vacation, God wants you on mission. If you are at the grocery store or the gas pump, God wants you on mission. When you are at the teacher conference or the staff meeting, God expects you to represent him well.

Dr. Suess says, “Oh the places you will go.” And this year, you will go lots of places. You are commissioned to be a witness so look like Jesus every chance you get. May the Holy Spirit empower you to overcome any obstacles so that you can realize the Kingdom of God in your life. Blessings on the journey.

Mission Where You Live

I have had the privilege to travel all over the world doing mission work. I’ve lived in Africa and the South Pacific. I been to Croatia, Jamaica, France, Scotland, Honduras, and Mexico. It has been my honor to get to know the folks that live in these areas and bring Jesus with me. But, living missionally is not only about how far you go with the message of Jesus; it’s also right where you live.

Jesus told us to “Go and tell” in Matthew 28 but in Acts 1, Jesus says, “You’ll be my witness in Jerusalem, Judea, Samaria, and the ends of the earth.” He told his disciples to start right where they were and that means for most of us in our home, with our extended family and our next door neighbor.

So we ask the question, who lives with you? Some of the people who live with you are not believers. When you read John 1, we discover Andrew went to get his brother, Peter, to introduce him to Jesus. Some of us have prodigal children. Some of us have prodigal spouses. You live in your home with these folks that you dearly love. Yet, we believe it might be ineffective to share Jesus with them. I’ve had conversations with people who respond, “But Tim, you don’t know my grandpa or my spouse or my neighbor. They are stubborn and don’t think they need anyone.”

I’d say continue to pray for the right opportunity to share Jesus. Pray for softer hearts. Pray for patience. Pray for boldness as you interact with family and friends. Andrew Murray, a South African pastor and writer in the 1800s says, “Beware of your prayers, above everything of limiting God.” We know, we serve the God of the impossible.

The second question is, who lives near you? I’m reminded research tells me we are more connected than at any other time in human history yet as so lonely. I have 1000s of friends on social media but not many of them are close friends. Our current culture has our porch now in the back yard, surrounded by a fence and the only way to get there is through a garage that I can open and shut with a remote control. In other words, my house is arranged so I don’t have to interact with any of my neighbors.

So, you must be intentional. Get outside. Get to know your neighbors. Bring them home-baked goodies. Help them after a storm to clean up their yard. Know their names. Smile and wave when you see them. As a follower of Jesus, you want them to know, they are welcomed in your space. Be purposeful and create space this year to invite them into your life by doing a cook out for your street in your driveway or a pool party for all the kids in the neighborhood or create the first ever 4th of July parade for all the neighbors to join in.

Now, how will you do either of these things? By asking, who lives in you? If you are a baptized believer then God’s Holy Spirit lives in you and it’s through the power of that Spirit you’ll be bold. That’s what Paul tells us in Romans 8:11. Check it out. Look, Jesus said, “The world will know you are my disciples by the way you love…” So make this year different. Show the love of Jesus starting with your family and your neighbors. You can do it with God’s help. Blessings on your journey.

Advancing in Your Spiritual Life

As I was watching the Super Bowl last night, a thought occurred to me. As I observed the defensive strategy for both the Chiefs and the 49ers, they tend to be more concerned about stripping the ball from the player’s hands even more than tackling them to the ground. In fact, defensive teams are taught to always try to strip the ball from the player while they are taking them down as to cause a fumble (and there were at least two last night). They know that if they can get the ball out of the player’s hands there is a good chance they can recover the ball and cause a turnover.

I think our defensive opponent, the enemy against us, tries to follow the same tactic. He wants to strip us of all the things God wants us to hold near and dear. We know this because the Apostle Peter brought it to our attention thousands of years ago.

1 Peter 5:8 (NIV) “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”

Jesus also tells us about this challenge we all face:

John 10:10 (NIV) “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”

Our enemy wants to steal the dreams, desires, and destiny you and I have. And he is relentless in his pursuit of it. He is constantly trying to strip them out of our hands and cause a turnover in our future. In fact, he is more interested in causing you to fumble than he is in taking you down. What I mean by that is, he works on discouraging you more than deceiving you. Most people that are followers of Christ don’t necessarily struggle with a belief in God, they are not considering being atheist. Rather their struggle is being discouraged, they easily fumble the purpose and promises of God from their heart. And in doing so they are missing out on gaining spiritual yardage in their life. They are not turning their back on God by being deceived, rather, they are turning their attention on their fears by being discouraged.

So how do we, as followers of Christ, keep ourselves guarded against being stripped of God’s purposes?

Hold The Promises of God Tightly

Every football player knows that when you get the ball you hold on for dear life. You tuck it in as close as you can to your body to secure it from being stripped. In the same way, we have to learn how to keep God’s promises close to our heart and not give up on them even when things don’t appear to be going as planned. Remember, we are to walk by faith and not by sight as Paul reminds us all in his writing of first Corinthians.

Surround Yourself With Blockers

One of the best ways to help ensure you don’t get tackled is to surround yourself with people that will block the enemy from you. This means we need to surround ourselves with life-giving people who will be there for us. We were created for community and we operate best in community. It’s vital that you have relationships in your life that will help you, inspire you, challenge you, and encourage you. They are the blockers in your life that help you move down the field.

Be Focused On The Goal Not Your Problems

You can’t score points if you’re only trying not to get tackled. The goal of football is to get the ball in the end zone, not to simply survive from being hurt. If we are only focused on playing it safe we’ll never reach our potential. You have to keep your eyes on the prize as you move down the field of life. Don’t worry about the tacklers and the enemy, keep moving forward. Where your focus goes your energy flows.

So, focus on your spiritual game. Run the race in such a way as to win, throwing off everything that hinders. Focus on Jesus the perfecter of our faith. May God go with you this week and give you multiple opportunities to score for him! And, Go Chiefs! Blessings on your journey.

Starting Anew.

So what’s my new beginning?

After ten+ years at a local church, I’m starting today at a new church in a different part of the metro area.

New beginnings can be fraught with uncertainty but they are also filled with incredible joy and possibility. Think a new job, a new relationship, getting married, new house, new baby. All pretty exciting stuff.

Here are some of my initial thoughts on new beginnings.

You see possibilities and opportunities.

Possibilities and opportunities are everywhere. This is an incredible feeling! The problem is sometimes we just don’t see them either because we are either stuck in a rut, too scared to move out of our comfort zone or feeling pessimistic.

After months of prayer about where God might be leading my wife and I, we realized it was time to help others with Kingdom work. Through the process, the Holy Spirit confirmed over and over, God was still going to use us in Gospel work. We are blessed to be starting this new work today!

New beginnings are all about seeking out new opportunities and truly opening ourselves up to new adventures. Fresh starts allow us to see the world and often ourselves in a new light.

You see a clear path forward.

New beginnings give us a chance to work towards what we really want. They give us a chance to let go of the past, focus firmly on a bright new future, and commit to moving forward in leaps and bounds.

Fresh starts are a great time for reflection but more importantly for planning, goal setting, and for having fun at the moment!

You appreciate the wonderful things already in your life.

I have a lot to be thankful for. Great friends and mentors. So many people who believe in me despite what one or two believe about me. Health and mobility. A dynamic partner in my wife, Robin. Two sons who I couldn’t be more proud of. A new staff who are over-the-top excited about Robin and I joining them on staff. God is good.

Even though I haven’t had a lot of time for blogging lately (due to closing out my ministry and creating space to start a new one) I now have a renewed passion for my blog.

Now thankfully I am ready to learn and reestablish some rhythms. My mind is up and running and fully engaged to possibilities. My creative mind is clicking back into gear and I’m ready to dive back into writing and creating.

Granted new beginnings can be a little scary, but there’s no doubt they can also be magical, exciting, joyous, and thrilling!

Like everything else in life, it all depends on how you choose to look at it. What new beginning are you excited about? Whatever you are anticipating, God has this…He’s got you. So be adventurous and daring. Take the step you’ve been hesitant taking. Know that He has wonderful things in store for you. Blessings on your journey.

Leading with Purpose.

As leaders, we face the dichotomy of leading and being vulnerable. When this happens, we can so quickly forget about trusting God. We feel like we are unable to be vulnerable because we are leaders. The irony! Our self-confidence slowly dwindles and we soon shrink into a state of isolation for fear of being identified as unfit to lead. By not trusting in God to provide for us we decide to honor ourselves rather than our Creator.

Our lack of confidence resides in our inability to trust in God. Our failure to trust Him stems from our fear of losing control. Control gives way to the very nature that leads us to impulsively steward our lives into a direction we often deem appropriate. Many times this course is way off, leading to frustration, doubt, and a misunderstanding of God’s provision and plan.

Our Perceived Purposes Are So Different From What He Intends.

Isaiah 55:9 “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

We can lead with utter self-assurance and perceive our success to stem from our own genius. Or we can be attune to His leading, aligning our lives with His purpose and receiving promised assurance of hope and peace as we are a part of leadership. The only way to do this is to stay in close communication with Him, always expecting to find His guidance in one way or another.

Make Your Plans, But Know that Ultimately They Are Futile.

Isaiah 5:10 “For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return there but water the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater.”

Leading our congregations or teams should always be accompanied by clear goals and planning. Without a vision, we have no foresight. Without a goal, we have no purpose. Without planning, we inevitably set ourselves up for failure, as unexpected outcomes will arise. That said, our perception of planning should always be based on a desire to include God in it all. In our position of leadership, we have to rely on our Creator, who through His Word can and will show us how to best lead and prepare. Although we cannot predict the outcome, He already knows it!

A Calling With A Purpose.

Isaiah 55:11: “So will my word be that goes out from my mouth; it will not return to me empty, but it will accomplish that which I purpose, and will succeed in the thing for which I sent it.”

Our time as a leader is limited. Whether in church, at home, or at work. When we lose sight of why we were called to this position in the first place, we run the risk of failing to persevere until the end. Along the way, we miss out on countless opportunities to see God’s provision and leading first hand. When we look at our circumstances and get focused on outcomes, we fail to recognize the extent of our calling. By placing us in a leadership position, He also made a promise that his Word will go out and not return empty. He promised that He will accomplish what He set out to do. Leading from this understanding will give us so much perspective and help us to build confidence, not in ourselves, but in His ultimate plan.

So, whether you are leading in your family, in your workplace, in your community or in your church family, do so including God in all your plans. May God bless you on your journey.

The Value of True Friendship.

A lot has been said about friends and friendship over the years: “A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.” (Bernard Meltzer), “Friendship is accepting a person with all their qualities – good and bad,” (Mohanla) and “Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer.” (Ed Cunningham) But perhaps the words that come closest to the truth are those spoken by William Temple: “The greatest medicine is a true friend.”

In all my years of living and doing ministry among families, I found that as people grow older, their friendships play an increasingly greater role in determining their health and wellbeing. You can see it play out with folks who choose to isolate themselves or choose to get involved in the lives of the people they interact with every single day.

As I have considered how important it is to be with people, here are three easy ways to nurture your most valuable friendships.

Put time and energy into them.

It’s very easy in today’s tech-driven world to sit back and let Facebook and other social media platforms manage your friendships for you. But the truth is that no number of likes can exceed the importance of face-to-face time with a friend. So, make it a priority to spend time with your friends whether you decide to meet up for a walk, go out for a meal together, meet up for a cup of coffee or have a regular game night at your house

Listen more than you speak.

While friendships are definitely a two-way street, good friends understand the value of putting others first, so before you rush in and download your long list of news, take the time to listen instead – it’ll build a stronger connection.

Be open and honest.

Honestly is always the best policy and even more so when it comes to your friendships as being honest with someone builds trust and trust is the foundation of all successful relationships. Just remember: When you’re being honest with friends, take a gentle approach – you don’t want to end up causing permanent damage to your friendship.

Being with other people is a part of the Christian walk. You cannot look like Jesus and decide you don’t like people. So get out of your comfort zone. Let those in your life you value know you care about them. Blessings on the journey.