Do You Like Me?

We often wonder if our friends really like us…if our coworkers admire us…if our boss respects us. So many of us are addicted to the disease to please. It’s a human condition to desire others to like us but how far will we go to make that happen?

There are three flags that might indicate you desire people to like you over and above the normal. If you obsess about what other people think about our clothes, your job, what you drive, your social media posts, you might find yourself in that position. If you are overly sensitive to criticism you might just care too much what others think. If you have a hard time telling anyone “no”, you probably will go to great lengths for others to swoon when you walk in the room.

King Solomon said in Proverbs 29:25, “Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the Lord means safety” That word “trap” in the original language could be translated as a noose to catch wild game or a nose ring for a cow. Hoping for people’s approval can led you to an invisible prison. See, becoming obsessed about what other people think about you is the fastest way for you to forget what God thinks about you.

The Apostle Paul said in Galatians 1:10, “I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.” Paul had given up on what people thought of him. He had lost so many friends and family because of his conversion to Jesus. He had placed himself under and in submission to Christ which meant his call was to live for him, not other people.

See, pleasing people is a form of idolatry. You may be saying you don’t have any real idols in your home you bow down to but anything you put in front of God becomes an idol See God wants to be your everything and if you are consumed with what other people think about you, there is no room for God.

But the good news is that the approval of God sets us free from the disease to please! Think about how freeing it would be if you just didn’t worry about what other people thought. You only recognize who God has said you were and that would be enough. Your worth is not based on what your family thinks of you or your coworkers or even your spouse. God has already said how worthy you are when he sent Jesus to earth.

You are not what others think or say about you. In Jesus, you are God’s workmanship. You are an adopted chid of God. You are a prisoner set free from your past. You are an overcomer. So, don’t think about how the world views you. Enjoy the freedom you have in Christ. Blessings on the journey!

How to Be Great.

I was going to be famous. I produced two country music albums in the early ‘90s. I had sent in a vocal demo to Charlie Daniels’ new TV show in Nashville. Once they heard it, I was invited to a physical audition in Nashville. This was it!! I was going to break through. Becoming a house-hold name was just a song away. Until it wasn’t. God had other plans for my story and I’m so glad his plan worked out and mine did not.

People everyday hope to become famous. Look at all the research from your kids to those in their mid-30s to many adults, their hope is to become famous and great. But God calls us to live in a way so you elevate others and God in your life. Now, it’s not a problem to be famous but generally, our focus is pulled away from God and others when all the focus is on ourselves.

John the Baptist got it right. He was preparing the way for Jesus at the front end of the Gospel accounts of Jesus’ life. John was incredibly popular and famous. In Matthew 3:5 it says, “That everyone from Jerusalem and Judea and the Jordan Valley came to hear John.” He had a massive following from the everyday villager all the way to King Herod, everybody knew and admired John.

But in John 3:30, after several people came to John asking if he was the Messiah, he says, “Jesus must become greater and greater and I must become less and less.” John says that it’s not about him. His mission is to point to Jesus.

And as disciples of Jesus, we have to remember we are his ambassadors. Paul says in 2 Corinthians 5:20 that we are Christ’s ambassadors and he is making his appeal to the world through us. An ambassador is the highest ranking official from one country to another. So Paul is saying we are the highest ranking official from heaven to earth. Whatever we do, we are called to bring glory to God.

So, consider your walk. Whose approval matters most? God…or those around you. Like John, we say “More of Jesus, less of me”. Not my glory but his glory. Not my name but his Name. The world may not know you but you are known by the Name above all names. His Name is Prince of Peace, King of kings and Lord of lords.

He calls you blessed, loved, forgiven, and child of God. You’re already famous as a member of the family of God. Blessings on your journey.

Trying to Live the Flawless Life?

I’m wound tight. My personality likes to look like I’ve got it all together…that I’m “perfect”. When I fail, I’m really hard on myself and I certainly want to hid my short comings. Our social media world only worsens that kind of personality. Every picture posted on any of my social media sites screams, “Wouldn’t you want to be like me?” And Scripture doesn’t help either.

Jesus says on the Sermon on the Mount, “Be perfect just like my Heavenly Father is perfect” (Matthew 5:48). Wow! How do I live up to that? I end up putting unrealistic goals on myself. I perceive unrealistic goals from those around me. I perceive what God wants me to do in my life and I fall short.

Trying to look flawless though is just a cover. You see, there is a spiritual side to this seemingly psychologically-bound personality. The real issue is, I’m simply trying to cover my deepest insecurities, my deepest fears and my own sinfulness.

The Apostle Paul tells us in Romans 3:20 that no one can ever be “made right” with God by trying to be perfect. So how do we move forward in our life? Paul continues in verse 22 by saying, “We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ.”

When I trust in Jesus to be my Savior, my perfection, I can let go of me trying to be perfect. Because of Jesus we can walk in freedom, embrace his grace, and live unburdened. With Jesus, the pressure to perform has been removed. So, because of Jesus…

We get to choose people over our perfection. It’s all about relationship rather than “getting it right”. Equally because of Jesus, we get to choose love over a perfect performance. Remember that trying to look perfect is simply a cover for our deepest fears.

But didn’t we start out be saying Jesus called us to be perfect in Matthew 5? In the context of that verse, Jesus is talking about love. Jesus is calling us to love everyone completely and maturely. We don’t just love people we think deserve our love. We are all-inclusive of our love, just like our Heavenly Father. We love on those who love us but also those who speak poorly about us, mistreat us, are mean to us and disrespect us.

You and I will never be perfect. My assignment as a disciple of Jesus is not to convince people how good I am. My assignment is to tell the world how awesome our God is!! It is all about Jesus!! So let go of faking how perfect you are and let your life scream how perfect our Heavenly Father has been to you. Blessings on the journey.

What You Got There?

So one day a rich man goes off on a journey. Before he does, however, he asks three of his servants to invest his money. Two of them go away, use their entrepreneurship to double their investment and return their boss’s cash with more besides. He’s overjoyed, of course, because this is a substantial sum of money. Everyone ends up celebrating.

Everyone, that is, except the third servant, who, for reasons of his own, disobeys his master and buries the money in a hole. His employer is, not surprisingly, unimpressed.

That’s how the Parable of the Talents goes, and the interpretation is evident – God entrusts us with resources, talents and relationships and we’re supposed to use them to further his Kingdom. There’s a responsibility here, and that’s a lesson the third servant learned to his cost.

Hmm. The third servant. Traditionally the third servant is the point of the story; he disobeys his master and pays the price – he was given a talent, worth twenty years’ wages, so we’re not talking peanuts here. This makes the parable a warning, and it partly is, but there’s a danger in taking that too much to heart – after all, should serving God become a duty we reluctantly carry out simply because we’re afraid of the consequences? Or does that just make the attitude displayed by the third servant a self-fulfilling prophecy? The third servant sees his master as harsh, judgmental and unfair, and he acts appropriately – or does he? If the master is really that bad, why didn’t the servant at least make an effort?

See, his boss points out that he could have just put the money on deposit and earned some interest. Instead, the servant went to the trouble of physically digging a hole and dumping the money in there. It almost sounds like it was harder work to not make a profit.

So what if the servant’s assault on his boss’s character is really just a cover for his own apathy? Is there any objective evidence that the master is the unreasonable badass he’s made out to be? Or is the description provided in verse 24 just an extension of the servants own heart, much like the elder son’s attitude towards his father in the parable of the Prodigal Son.

Let’s try looking at things from the perspective of the first two servants, because there are actually two gifts on display here: not just the money itself but also the opportunity to use it to build a Kingdom. It’s this second gift that reveals the hearts of the servants and their attitudes towards God. The third servant couldn’t be bothered and the Kingdom is smaller as a result. The other two servants, however…

We’re entrusted with so much and most of it can be used for the benefit of others and as an extension of our relationship with God. After all, he invites us to work with him to build a Kingdom that isn’t just in the future, isn’t just up on a cloud somewhere but here and now. That’s a huge privilege – the sums entrusted to the servants are insanely extravagant and so are the profits. That money in your account, that thing you can do better than anyone else, the circumstances you find yourself in? Their value can be incalculable when approached from the perspective of God’s Kingdom.

So let’s not just read this parable as a warning. Let’s see it as an invite. God gives us a talent or five and asks us to build his Kingdom. That might be sharing his story, it might be digging a well or running a soup kitchen or becoming a voice for the oppressed. It could be a thousand and one things but a single fact underlies them all – God gives us the chance to build a Kingdom. That’s an incredible honor.

So, let’s not get apathetic and start throwing the things we’re given into a hole somewhere. Let’s use that with which we’ve been blessed to achieve something that will echo into eternity. Be alert and look around for ways to use whatever God has gifted you with. Blessings on the journey.

The Point of the Vineyard Parable.

Jesus made a regular habit of upending established social conventions. Jesus spent much of His earthly ministry illustrating the sharp contrast between the world and His heavenly kingdom. One of those key teaching moments is found in the preface and epilogue to Christ’s parable of the vineyard.

Christ’s story is framed with a single, simple proverb: “Many who are first will be last; and the last, first” (Matthew 19:30). The same concept is repeated at the end of the parable: “So the last shall be first, and the first last” (Matthew 20:16). An echo of the proverb is also found in the parable itself—in that key phrase in Matthew 20:8 where the landowner instructs the steward how to pay the workers their wages: “Call the laborers and pay them their wages, beginning with the last group to the first” (Matthew 20:8)

The proverb is also something of a riddle. What does it mean? It’s not saying precisely the same thing as Mark 9:35: “If anyone wants to be first, he shall be last of all and servant of all.” Or Mark 10:43–44: “Whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant; and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be slave of all.” Those verses elevate humility and self-sacrifice. Those are imperatives: commands instructing us to be humble servants rather than seeking prominence and power.

But the proverb that goes with this parable is an indicative, a simple statement of fact: “The last shall be first, and the first last.” What does that mean, and how would it work? In a foot race, for example, the only way for the last to be first and the first to be last is for everyone to finish simultaneously. If everyone crosses the finish line at exactly the same instant, the first are last and the last are first. Everyone ends in a dead heat.

That, of course, is precisely the point Jesus was making in the parable. Those hired first and those hired last all got exactly the same pay. All of them, from the first to the last, got the full benefit of the landowner’s generosity, in equal shares.

What spiritual lesson is woven into that story?

The lesson is actually quite simple: the story is a precise picture of God’s sovereign, saving grace. Since sinners are all unworthy, and the riches of God’s grace are inexhaustible, all believers receive an infinite and eternal share of His mercy and kindness, though no one really deserves it.

The dying thief who repented in his final moments entered paradise, where he is enjoying eternal life and everlasting fellowship with Christ just the same as Peter, James, and John, who literally gave their lives in service to the Savior.

The landowner in the parable represents God. The vineyard is the kingdom, the sphere of God’s rule. The laborers are believers, people who come into the service of the King. The day of work is their lifetime. The evening is eternity. The steward, perhaps, represents Jesus Christ, to whom has been committed all judgment. The denarius represents eternal life.

Note: this pay is not something the workers have earned. It is not given to them like a minimum wage in a fair exchange for labor done. It is far too much for that. Rather, this represents a gracious gift, a lavish endowment that exceeds the best reward any day worker could ever merit.

So this is the point: If you are a believer, you receive the full benefits of God’s immeasurable grace, just like everyone else in God’s kingdom. Your place in heaven is not a timeshare where your access is determined by the length of time you spent doing the Lord’s work. The blessings of redemption are not doled out in quotas based on one’s personal achievements. Forgiveness is not measured by weighing our good deeds against our sins, nor is it partially withheld if we have sinned for too long or too badly.

Everyone who enters the kingdom receives the full abundance of God’s grace, mercy, and forgiveness. That’s true no matter how long you have worked in God’s kingdom. It’s true no matter how hard or how easy your circumstances are. It’s true whether your service was minimal or maximal; whether you die as a martyr in the prime of life or live a fairly peaceful life and die of old age. It’s as true of those who come to Christ in adolescence as it is of those who genuinely repent of their sins at the end of a life.

When this earthly life is over, if you are a believer, you will go to be with Christ, just like that thief on the cross (Luke 23:43); just like the apostle Paul (2 Corinthians 5:8); and just like every other saint who has died since.

Heaven is not a reward for long service or hard work. Some people serve Christ their entire lives, and some for a very short time. We all enter into the same eternal life. We all will receive the same spiritual blessings in heaven.

If that seems inequitable, remember that it is far more than any of us deserve. The benefits of the kingdom are the same for everyone because we are redeemed in the first place only by God’s grace, and nothing else. That’s truly good news for you and me; we don’t have to earn our way into the kingdom. Blessings on the journey.

Lead well.

I’m in a season right now. I don’t really like it. But, I’m learning some things about myself that I’m discovering need to change. Whether we are talking about leading our kids or our spouse or our team at work, we could use some reminders about leading well.

I heard Craig Groeschel once say, “I notice. You Matter.” It’s a motto we all should memorize and repeat several times a day. It means as we interact with those around us, we should let them know we notice their hard work…their time spent…their contribution to what is happening today. The second part is equally as important. Letting those around us know they matter in the storyline. What they are working on and how they are joining us in the day matters. We want to applaud both daily to the people in our life who support us, love on us, and work with us.

As leaders we must remember that no one wants to work with someone who already knows it all and seems to want perfection. Those around us have struggles and imperfections of their own so as a leader, we must be vulnerable and transparent, allowing our kids, spouses and co-workers to see our imperfections…that we don’t have it all together.

Now, we are not okay staying there. Our desire is to look more like Jesus everyday. But we also must recognize that we are not perfect and never will be. It’s okay to say, “I don’t know”. It’s also okay to say, “But we’ll find out together.” Collaborating with those around you is not a sign of weakness but really one of strength.

As a leader, we also need to be inspiring and empowering those around us to lead. Our goal should be to empower others to do everything we can let go of. That might be a goal of reducing your workload by 75% where you are doing the things that truly only you can do.

So, encourage, empower, inspire. Remember to say things like, “Thank you”, “I notice” and “You Matter.” I’m a weak man and forget these things often but the beauty of being a follower of Jesus is that when we are weak, He is strong. You can do this with his power. Blessings on the journey.

Take Over the Garden.

Jesus told them a parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his field.” (Matthew 13). Jesus tells a seed parable—this time about a mustard seed. It is among the smallest of seeds.

We tend not to like things that are small. In many ways, we think “Bigger is better.” The person with the big house and big bank account is seen as more important. The larger the portfolio or the position in society, the more attention we give and get. Everyone wants to be part of something big. Small is not valued, not to be taken serious. Small is inconsequential. 

Though the mustard seed was the smallest of seeds known to Jesus’ listeners, what would it do? Jesus said, “When it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree.” Surprise! The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed. The kingdom of heaven may present itself like a small seed, but it has the potential to grow huge—and even to spread everywhere.

We might think that the efforts of people presenting the kingdom are insignificant, but let’s not overlook God’s power potential. We are called to marvel at even the least presentation of the kingdom—to marvel and wonder what power and potential God has poured into it.

In your own life, you may believe your particular giftedness is not worth much…it’s small and inconsequential. God has given each of us a Kingdom gift. Paul reminds us that we are ALL part of the body of Christ, each of us having a part to play in Kingdom work. So, do not think you are not worth being part of the story God is unfolding around you.

Remember that God changed the course of history with just a few believers, who shared the good news of Jesus with ­others, who spread it further and further. And you can be that person, that believer who is also taking the commission of Jesus seriously and using what you have to tell the story of God. Don’t be shy. Plant your seed and with the power of the Holy Spirit, watch it grow. Blessings on the journey.

Breaking Bad.

We all have habits. We typically want to keep and build the good ones and trash the bad ones. As a Christ-follower, I try to be more like Jesus everyday but it doesn’t always work out…frankly, I have never had a perfect day. James says in James 1:21, “Get rid of all filth and evil in your lives and humbly accept God…” I dare say all of us long to do that.

So why is it difficult to stop a bad habit and start new, better ones? Well, good habits are challenging because the payoff is in the future. For example, you want to get in shape so you start running. Right away, you give up sleeping in to get out and run. You pay money for some good shoes. It will be a couple of weeks before you see any real result but two weeks later you feel better, you look better and people are noticing your weight loss.

Bad habits however make you feel better right away and the negative thing is in the future. So, you need to take the edge off, curb an appetite, look cool…you start smoking. Right away, your wishes are granted. But ten years later, the doctor informs you of respiratory issues or even lung cancer.

So we want to make bad habits difficult to do. For any habit, there is always a trigger which leads to an action and then a reward. So we want to remove the trigger in order to begin avoiding the bad habit. There are typically 5 triggers.

Time and place go together. There typically is a place where your habits happen. You don’t overeat at the gym and don’t smoke pot at church. But go to the Super Bowl party, you probably overeat and do some recreational stuff. The party is the place.

There’s also time. You don’t watch porn while at your church small group but you may late at night when your spouse goes to bed. There’s a time when things happen you wish would not.

There are moods when you are vulnerable. So, don’t make decisions when you are hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. Moods can create moments when bad habits kick in.

You’ve got moments that trigger bad habits. You have a huge fight with your husband which prompts you to call your closest 3 girlfriends to have a husband-bashing party. The moment is the fight.

Finally, there are people who trigger poor decisions. The people we hang with often shape the habits we have. Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.

Some practical application about making habits difficult. You love hitting the snooze button on the alarm. You want to stop. So you move the alarm clock across the room so you have to get out of bed to turn it off. You find yourself looking at lustful images on your phone. Give your phone to a friend to set parental guides on your phone. Only they have the password. You’re making it difficult to act on habits you want to kick.

And maybe you feel overwhelmed…that you can’t do it. Just take one small step toward making a better decision. God says in Zechariah 4, “He rejoices on the small things” that bring you closer to him… With the power of Jesus in your life, you can overcome. Blessings on your journey.

Prodigal Father.

Now you have either been a son or a daughter. I bet if truth be told, you were not an angel. I know I was not. I butted heads with my dad on more than one occasion growing up. When I was 18, I left home and never looked back. I was young, naive, and selfish and I made multiple poor decisions in my early 20s.

Jesus tells a story that begins, “There was a man who had two sons…” in Luke 15. It’s the story of a young son who wants his half of the family inheritance BEFORE his dad dies. So, when he asks for it, the dad concedes and gives it to him. The story goes on to tell of wild nights in bigger and distant cities where all the money was spent to buy friends, prostitutes, drugs, alcohol…it was pure Las Vegas on steroids.

Eventually, the young son ran out of money and of course, his so called friends left him for better things. With no money and now a shortage of food, the young son convinced a farmer to let him feed the pigs to earn a meager wage. Hebrews cannot touch pigs. They are unclean and one would be defiled to come in contact with those animals. The young son has hit rock bottom. No money, no friends, no food, defiled and unclean…But he remembers the servants in his dad’s house have more than enough food. So he determines to go home.

He thinks, “At home, even dad’s servants have a place to sleep and something to eat. I’ll go, recognizing I can no longer be called his son because of my stupidity, and ask dad if I can just be a servant.” So, he begins the long journey home.

But the father has been watching for months and months for his son. Finally, in the distance, the father sees his son and leaps from his porch to run down the road and hold his son. Their is no time for confession…no promise of different future behavior. Before the son can say he’s sorry, the father hugs him, kisses him, puts his own robe on him, a ring on his finger and shoes on his feet. Let the party begin!

Jesus reminds us in this story that the love of God both violates and fulfills our sense of forgiveness. It is a two-edged sword. When we are in the wrong, we want and may feel we deserve the forgiveness. But when we have been wronged, it takes a little more time to offer that forgiveness. Yet we see from the father what true love looks like.

The young son has been a prodigal…giving away all of his money, his time, himself to the world around him. The father is a prodigal too, who never tires of giving away his love for wayward children who have come home.

He’s waiting for you to come back as well. He’s watching for you to make the decision to be embraced by a love that’s deeper than the ocean. He’s waiting to give you that robe, ring and new shoes but you have to make the decision to come home. May the overwhelming love of the Father cause you to remember what’s at home. May you make the decision to embrace the wonderful life you can have by coming home. Blessings on the journey.

Starting Small for Big Things.

Two books I’ve read recently that were impactful where “The Power of Habit” by Charles Duhigg and “Atomic Habits” by James Clear. Clear reminds us that “goals don’t determine success; systems determine success. We don’t rise to our goals but fall to our systems.” Duke University did a study on habits just a few years ago and discovered a full 40% of our everyday is not a result of conscious choices but daily habits.

Daniel, in the Old Testament, had systems in place to help him be the man God wanted him to be. It no doubt started out as a small habit but created a lifestyle that was pleasing to God. You can find that habit in Daniel 3:3-10. Daniel rose to a level of leadership in Babylon second to none except the king. But the little habit that got him there was praying three times a day.

What we can learn for Daniel’s story is we should never underestimate that God can start something big through one small habit. Over my life of 53 years, I developed some bad habits and some better ones. When my wife and I married 30 years ago, we committed to being fully consumed with Jesus. So, we built some habits that we still live by today. We meet with God’s family every Sunday and other times throughout the week. Even on vacation, we find a local church and go worship with them. We are also daily Bible readers. Every day, we dive into God’s Word to discover how the Spirit will lead us. Equally, we pray to our Heavenly Father every single day. We made a decision to tithe to the local church every week so we give back to God a portion of the material blessings that he gives us.

Duhigg calls that foundational habit a keystone habit. That’s a habit that propels you into other, life transforming habits. So you have to ask yourself, “Who do you want to become?” Once you’ve answered that question, you add a habit on to it the keystone habit you’ve developed. Based upon who you want to become, what one habit do you need to start this week to get there?”

We all have systems. You’re either being intentional about your system or you use one by default. Duhigg reminds us there is always a trigger that kickstarts a habit. So if you want to be different, you need to change your habits and in doing so, make the trigger obvious and easy.

An example for obvious would be that you want to be more physically fit so you decide to walk at least three times a week. The trigger? You place your running shoes by the front door so you see them when you get home from work. That’s making it obvious.

An example of making it easy would be that you want to read through the Bible so you commit to reading one verse a day. They even have apps for you to download that will send you a verse of the day. After 28 days, you will be in habit mode of reading your Bible and you’ll be wanting to add more than just one verse a day.

Remember, successful people do consistently what everyone else does occasionally. The folks you know who are deep spiritually, didn’t get there by accident. The people you see who are debt-free, didn’t magically just get that way. The coworker who is physically fit, didn’t just wake up that way. All of them had a habit and plan that got them there.

So, who do you want to be? Once you have decided that, what one habit will you begin to get you there? Blessings on the journey.