Breaking Bad.

We all have habits. We typically want to keep and build the good ones and trash the bad ones. As a Christ-follower, I try to be more like Jesus everyday but it doesn’t always work out…frankly, I have never had a perfect day. James says in James 1:21, “Get rid of all filth and evil in your lives and humbly accept God…” I dare say all of us long to do that.

So why is it difficult to stop a bad habit and start new, better ones? Well, good habits are challenging because the payoff is in the future. For example, you want to get in shape so you start running. Right away, you give up sleeping in to get out and run. You pay money for some good shoes. It will be a couple of weeks before you see any real result but two weeks later you feel better, you look better and people are noticing your weight loss.

Bad habits however make you feel better right away and the negative thing is in the future. So, you need to take the edge off, curb an appetite, look cool…you start smoking. Right away, your wishes are granted. But ten years later, the doctor informs you of respiratory issues or even lung cancer.

So we want to make bad habits difficult to do. For any habit, there is always a trigger which leads to an action and then a reward. So we want to remove the trigger in order to begin avoiding the bad habit. There are typically 5 triggers.

Time and place go together. There typically is a place where your habits happen. You don’t overeat at the gym and don’t smoke pot at church. But go to the Super Bowl party, you probably overeat and do some recreational stuff. The party is the place.

There’s also time. You don’t watch porn while at your church small group but you may late at night when your spouse goes to bed. There’s a time when things happen you wish would not.

There are moods when you are vulnerable. So, don’t make decisions when you are hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. Moods can create moments when bad habits kick in.

You’ve got moments that trigger bad habits. You have a huge fight with your husband which prompts you to call your closest 3 girlfriends to have a husband-bashing party. The moment is the fight.

Finally, there are people who trigger poor decisions. The people we hang with often shape the habits we have. Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.

Some practical application about making habits difficult. You love hitting the snooze button on the alarm. You want to stop. So you move the alarm clock across the room so you have to get out of bed to turn it off. You find yourself looking at lustful images on your phone. Give your phone to a friend to set parental guides on your phone. Only they have the password. You’re making it difficult to act on habits you want to kick.

And maybe you feel overwhelmed…that you can’t do it. Just take one small step toward making a better decision. God says in Zechariah 4, “He rejoices on the small things” that bring you closer to him… With the power of Jesus in your life, you can overcome. Blessings on your journey.

Starting Small for Big Things.

Two books I’ve read recently that were impactful where “The Power of Habit” by Charles Duhigg and “Atomic Habits” by James Clear. Clear reminds us that “goals don’t determine success; systems determine success. We don’t rise to our goals but fall to our systems.” Duke University did a study on habits just a few years ago and discovered a full 40% of our everyday is not a result of conscious choices but daily habits.

Daniel, in the Old Testament, had systems in place to help him be the man God wanted him to be. It no doubt started out as a small habit but created a lifestyle that was pleasing to God. You can find that habit in Daniel 3:3-10. Daniel rose to a level of leadership in Babylon second to none except the king. But the little habit that got him there was praying three times a day.

What we can learn for Daniel’s story is we should never underestimate that God can start something big through one small habit. Over my life of 53 years, I developed some bad habits and some better ones. When my wife and I married 30 years ago, we committed to being fully consumed with Jesus. So, we built some habits that we still live by today. We meet with God’s family every Sunday and other times throughout the week. Even on vacation, we find a local church and go worship with them. We are also daily Bible readers. Every day, we dive into God’s Word to discover how the Spirit will lead us. Equally, we pray to our Heavenly Father every single day. We made a decision to tithe to the local church every week so we give back to God a portion of the material blessings that he gives us.

Duhigg calls that foundational habit a keystone habit. That’s a habit that propels you into other, life transforming habits. So you have to ask yourself, “Who do you want to become?” Once you’ve answered that question, you add a habit on to it the keystone habit you’ve developed. Based upon who you want to become, what one habit do you need to start this week to get there?”

We all have systems. You’re either being intentional about your system or you use one by default. Duhigg reminds us there is always a trigger that kickstarts a habit. So if you want to be different, you need to change your habits and in doing so, make the trigger obvious and easy.

An example for obvious would be that you want to be more physically fit so you decide to walk at least three times a week. The trigger? You place your running shoes by the front door so you see them when you get home from work. That’s making it obvious.

An example of making it easy would be that you want to read through the Bible so you commit to reading one verse a day. They even have apps for you to download that will send you a verse of the day. After 28 days, you will be in habit mode of reading your Bible and you’ll be wanting to add more than just one verse a day.

Remember, successful people do consistently what everyone else does occasionally. The folks you know who are deep spiritually, didn’t get there by accident. The people you see who are debt-free, didn’t magically just get that way. The coworker who is physically fit, didn’t just wake up that way. All of them had a habit and plan that got them there.

So, who do you want to be? Once you have decided that, what one habit will you begin to get you there? Blessings on the journey.

Who are you?

I’ve had moments of pause. Moments when I thought, “Why am I here?” or “What am I doing?” I have had to rethink and reformulate where I was going and who I wanted to become because I didn’t like who I’d become. I’ve recognized along the way, I did not have the right systems and habits set in my life so that they would lead me to a place I was proud to be.

As I looked at other people whom I admired and respected, I recognized that behind the scenes, they were doing things no one else saw that moved them in the direction they wanted to go. After all, successful people do consistently what most of us do occasionally.

Most of us want to do well but there are some things that create an unsuccessful attempt to be the people we are hoping to live like. One of those things is that we tend to focus on the “what” rather than the “how. James Clear says in his book, Atomic Habits, “Winners and losers generally have the same goals. Goals don’t determine success. Systems determine success. You don’t rise the level of your goals; you fall to the level of your systems.”

So think through it a moment: you want to be a better friend but you don’t consider all the small things needed to accomplish that. You want to lose 20 pounds but haven't considered the need to change eating habits and working out.

We also don’t see progress fast enough so we don’t think those small things matter in life. We wrongly conclude small good decisions don’t much matter so we give up on the small habits that will eventually make us successful.

The truth is, life is the sum total of all the small decisions you and I make every day. Rarely does one decision wreck our life. But those small, everyday habits…those small daily disciplines give you the edge to become the person you want to be. It’s the things that no one sees that bring results everyone wants.

So, who do you want to become? I’d love to be a real solid man of God…a Proverbs 31 woman…a Godly spouse…an incredible parent to my kids…financially free…radically generous with my resources…physically fit…a bold witness for Jesus at work and in my neighborhood. See, our identity shapes our actions and when we discover who we are, it changes everything.

Paul tells us in Romans 6 that in Christ, we are redeemed, forgiven, new, adopted, children of the Most High God and that we can do all things through Christ who gives us the strength. See, a healthy identity creates the positive habits that bring us closer to God and closer to the person we really want to become.

As you create those positive, Godly habits one by one, know God will empower you to accomplish and become more like his Son, Jesus, everyday. Blessings on the journey.

Growing Like Jesus

When I lived in Stillwater, OK, I was a youth pastor. During the summer, I was typically gone fifty percent of the time on trips to camps, mission work, or road trips with teens. But one summer, I decided to grow watermelon. I love watermelon, especially when it’s ice cold from the fridge.

I planted the seeds and in no time, small green sprouts came up. My vines were on their way to maturity. But then summer hit and I was gone half the time. I had failed to get anyone to water my vines or give any TLC. By the end of summer, I had zero watermelons and shriveled up vines. It was a sad day.

Paul says in Colossians 2 that we are to “let our roots grow down into him and let our lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth we were taught and we will overflow with thankfulness.”

If you’re following Jesus, you want to grow into maturity to look like him which means you have to create habits that allow you to be watered and receive the TLC needed to grow into the likeness of Christ. Make today the day you commit to reading the Bible every day. There are lots of ways to do that. The YouVersion app is one easy way. The app has all versions of the Bible ever printed and it has many study guides that vary in length.

Start today creating a prayerful life. Just start talking to God and revealing your heart. You don’t have to “know” how to pray. It’s just a conversation with God about life, direction, gaining wisdom and how to follow.

Determine today you are going to allow yourself to become someone who has a servant lifestyle. There are lots of ways to create a path with others to be service minded. Look into any number of ministries at the church you attend. What brings you joy? What makes you happy? Talk to your pastor about ways to plug in and get going. You could also check your city’s website under the “non-profit” tab. That would open up lots of opportunities to find ways to serve other people.

Make time to write down your faith story so you know it and can share it in a 3-5 minute opportunity. It’s important that you know how and why you came to follow Jesus. Getting to know your story is important because you need to tell your children and grandchildren how important that decision was for you and the life change it could bring for them.

If you are going to grow, then you have to create a well-worn pathway to Jesus and a community of believers. Growing like Jesus will be empowered by the Holy Spirit but it will not happen in a vacuum. You have to determine to create habits that will allow you to be watered and tended by the greatest gardener of all time: Jesus Christ.

Blessings on your journey!