Learning to Forgive.

You and I have had moments when we were hurt and betrayed. We have had moments when we were vulnerable and had our heart stepped on. We’ve had moments when we wanted to hide in a corner because of how someone treated us. So in these moments, how do we move forward?

Well, there are some characteristics we will develop if we do not forgive and move forward. These are not the type of people we want to be or want to be around so measure if any of these ring true for you in your relationships.

When we get hurt one of the first things we do is create distance. When we choose not to offer forgiveness, we create space in our relationship. We end up shutting people out. We don’t call them, text them or interact on social media. If not careful, we can become numb to the needs of the people we love.

If we do not deal with the distance, we build walls. We don’t want to hurt anymore so we build walls to block the pain. Walls do keep the negative people out. The issue is, we also keep the positive people out of our life as well. We become so protective we loose the opportunity to build life-giving relationships.

If we leave the walls in place, it moves to a place of escalation. The smallest offense becomes something so grand, it seems impossible to overcome. We end up saying things we don’t really mean.

Ultimately, we reach a place of hostility toward the one who hurt us. We begin to go out of our way to make sure the “enemy” is as hurt as we are. But Paul tells us to act differently in Ephesians 4:31-32. He reminds us to get rid of all anger and rage and forgive others just like Jesus forgave us. If we are to become more like Jesus, it requires us to forgive others who have hurt us and move forward into a more positive place.

We all want a blessed life. Jesus told us if you want a blessed life then be a peace maker. A peace maker is a forgiver (Matthew 5:9). So what should I do if I want a blessed life?

Receive God’s forgiveness. Think about all the things in your own life that would keep you from Jesus and a blessed life. Aren’t you glad for God’s forgiveness? I am! How do I get that? By saying “yes” to Jesus. He gave his life for you and it’s through Jesus’ sacrifice that we find the peace and life we so desperately want.

Secondly, give what you have received. Healed people offer healing and forgiven people forgive people. Now remember that forgiveness doesn’t equal trust. When people hurt you, boundaries may be needed. Trust must be earned again. But start the process by offering forgiveness.

Finally, go first. I always say the most spiritually mature person will go first to listen, say “I’m sorry”, make reparations, and be compassionate. It will take faith on your part to move first but with the power of Jesus, you can do it. After all, Jesus went first in your relationship with him, right? Paul tells us in Romans 5:8 that while you were a sinner, Jesus died for you. He went first. So imitate him.

Look, it’s not easy forgiving those who hurt you but with the power of Jesus, you can (Ephesians 4:32). Forgiving is a powerful remedy to bring healing, peace and positivity to your life. Through the power of the Spirit, you can have all of it. Blessings on your journey.

Breaking Bad.

We all have habits. We typically want to keep and build the good ones and trash the bad ones. As a Christ-follower, I try to be more like Jesus everyday but it doesn’t always work out…frankly, I have never had a perfect day. James says in James 1:21, “Get rid of all filth and evil in your lives and humbly accept God…” I dare say all of us long to do that.

So why is it difficult to stop a bad habit and start new, better ones? Well, good habits are challenging because the payoff is in the future. For example, you want to get in shape so you start running. Right away, you give up sleeping in to get out and run. You pay money for some good shoes. It will be a couple of weeks before you see any real result but two weeks later you feel better, you look better and people are noticing your weight loss.

Bad habits however make you feel better right away and the negative thing is in the future. So, you need to take the edge off, curb an appetite, look cool…you start smoking. Right away, your wishes are granted. But ten years later, the doctor informs you of respiratory issues or even lung cancer.

So we want to make bad habits difficult to do. For any habit, there is always a trigger which leads to an action and then a reward. So we want to remove the trigger in order to begin avoiding the bad habit. There are typically 5 triggers.

Time and place go together. There typically is a place where your habits happen. You don’t overeat at the gym and don’t smoke pot at church. But go to the Super Bowl party, you probably overeat and do some recreational stuff. The party is the place.

There’s also time. You don’t watch porn while at your church small group but you may late at night when your spouse goes to bed. There’s a time when things happen you wish would not.

There are moods when you are vulnerable. So, don’t make decisions when you are hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. Moods can create moments when bad habits kick in.

You’ve got moments that trigger bad habits. You have a huge fight with your husband which prompts you to call your closest 3 girlfriends to have a husband-bashing party. The moment is the fight.

Finally, there are people who trigger poor decisions. The people we hang with often shape the habits we have. Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.

Some practical application about making habits difficult. You love hitting the snooze button on the alarm. You want to stop. So you move the alarm clock across the room so you have to get out of bed to turn it off. You find yourself looking at lustful images on your phone. Give your phone to a friend to set parental guides on your phone. Only they have the password. You’re making it difficult to act on habits you want to kick.

And maybe you feel overwhelmed…that you can’t do it. Just take one small step toward making a better decision. God says in Zechariah 4, “He rejoices on the small things” that bring you closer to him… With the power of Jesus in your life, you can overcome. Blessings on your journey.

What Were You Thinking?

Here’s a proven way to build character: learn to control the direction of your thoughts Your thoughts, of course, are intensely powerful things. Your thoughts have the power to lift you up or drag you down; they have the power to energize you or deplete you, to inspire you to greater accomplishments or to make those accomplishments impossible.

How will you and your family members direct your thoughts today? Will you follow the instructions of Paul in Philippians 4:8 by dwelling on those things that are honorable, true, and worthy of praise? Or will you allow your thoughts to be hijacked by the negativity that seems to dominate our troubled world?

Are you fearful, angry bored, or worried? Are you so preoccupied with the concerns of this day that you fail to thank God for the promise of eternity? Are you confused, bitter, or pessimistic? If so, God wants to have a little talk with you.

Watch what you think. If your inner voice is, in reality, your inner critic, you need to tone down the criticism now. And while you’re at it, train yourself to begin thinking thoughts that are more rational, more accepting, and less judgmental.

It’s up to you and your loved ones to celebrate the life that God has given you by focusing your minds upon “whatever is commendable.” So form the habit of spending more time thinking about your blessings and less time fretting about your hardships. Then, take time to thank the Giver of Life for the gifts that are, in truth, far too numerous to count!

With less media intake and the help of the Holy Spirit, you can do this. Get into God’s Word. Talk to God through prayer everyday. Continue to focus on blessing and not cursing. Be the light. Blessings on your journey.

Overflow.

Have you ever been at a spillway after an incredible storm? The swell of the all the water moving over the spillway is mesmerizing. It can’t be held back. It will flow over the top of the spillway.

James says our tongue is similar. Our tongue is difficult to control which makes it important what we put in our heart. James, the brother of Jesus and early church leader knew how difficult it was to control what we say. He gives several visuals how powerful the tongue is in our relationships.

He likens our tongue to the bit in a horse’s mouth which is able to steer the large animal one way or another. He says it is similar to the rudder on a ship, able to guide it north or south. And he says it’s like a forest fire which is so difficult to control.

You know, we speak on average 16,000 words a day and have about 30 conversations a day. So, as followers of Jesus, we need to be careful and guard our words. How we speak has everything to do with what we put in our hearts. At least that’s what Jesus said. In Luke 6:43-45, Jesus says out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. So it calls us to take a discipleship-type inventory of what we put in.

The call today is to limit your social media intake as well as what we’re watching on TV, Netflix, and the movies. Give it a try. For the next 3 days, or 7 days, or 10 days, replace those things with reading a spiritual blog, reading the Bible in depth, increasing your prayer life and journaling. Rather than sitting on the couch vegging out, find a ministry to plug into and serve someone else rather than your own needs. There are lots of opportunities at any church or in your community.

Our faith should be worth enough to CHANGE the way you do life. Jesus’ words should prompt us to plant positive, healthy seeds in our heart. We want to be people who are affirming, positive, uplifting, encouraging, and healthy resource for others to be around. Give it a try! Don’t wait another moment to getting your heart in better shape to look more like Jesus. Blessings on your journey.