You and I have had moments when we were hurt and betrayed. We have had moments when we were vulnerable and had our heart stepped on. We’ve had moments when we wanted to hide in a corner because of how someone treated us. So in these moments, how do we move forward?
Well, there are some characteristics we will develop if we do not forgive and move forward. These are not the type of people we want to be or want to be around so measure if any of these ring true for you in your relationships.
When we get hurt one of the first things we do is create distance. When we choose not to offer forgiveness, we create space in our relationship. We end up shutting people out. We don’t call them, text them or interact on social media. If not careful, we can become numb to the needs of the people we love.
If we do not deal with the distance, we build walls. We don’t want to hurt anymore so we build walls to block the pain. Walls do keep the negative people out. The issue is, we also keep the positive people out of our life as well. We become so protective we loose the opportunity to build life-giving relationships.
If we leave the walls in place, it moves to a place of escalation. The smallest offense becomes something so grand, it seems impossible to overcome. We end up saying things we don’t really mean.
Ultimately, we reach a place of hostility toward the one who hurt us. We begin to go out of our way to make sure the “enemy” is as hurt as we are. But Paul tells us to act differently in Ephesians 4:31-32. He reminds us to get rid of all anger and rage and forgive others just like Jesus forgave us. If we are to become more like Jesus, it requires us to forgive others who have hurt us and move forward into a more positive place.
We all want a blessed life. Jesus told us if you want a blessed life then be a peace maker. A peace maker is a forgiver (Matthew 5:9). So what should I do if I want a blessed life?
Receive God’s forgiveness. Think about all the things in your own life that would keep you from Jesus and a blessed life. Aren’t you glad for God’s forgiveness? I am! How do I get that? By saying “yes” to Jesus. He gave his life for you and it’s through Jesus’ sacrifice that we find the peace and life we so desperately want.
Secondly, give what you have received. Healed people offer healing and forgiven people forgive people. Now remember that forgiveness doesn’t equal trust. When people hurt you, boundaries may be needed. Trust must be earned again. But start the process by offering forgiveness.
Finally, go first. I always say the most spiritually mature person will go first to listen, say “I’m sorry”, make reparations, and be compassionate. It will take faith on your part to move first but with the power of Jesus, you can do it. After all, Jesus went first in your relationship with him, right? Paul tells us in Romans 5:8 that while you were a sinner, Jesus died for you. He went first. So imitate him.
Look, it’s not easy forgiving those who hurt you but with the power of Jesus, you can (Ephesians 4:32). Forgiving is a powerful remedy to bring healing, peace and positivity to your life. Through the power of the Spirit, you can have all of it. Blessings on your journey.