Hopeful Stories in Hopelessness

I hiked Mt Evans in Colorado with a friend in 2005. It was just the two of us on the mountain. We had not prepared enough and after a full day of hiking, we were out of breath, dehydrated, delirious, and weak. We thought we would not find the car. As we were sitting bewildered, tired, and absolutely hopeless, we began to think, “it’s all over”.

In Luke 24, we read the account of two disciples walking home the Sunday after Jesus’ death. They had just been thrown a curve ball. After Jesus’ death, his disciples felt the same way I did at at the foot of that mountain. The whole city of Jerusalem had welcomed Jesus in to the city a week earlier but now, the powers that be, had Jesus crucified. A lot can change between Thursday and Sunday. What had seemed promising had become painful. What had seemed hopeful had become hopeless.

Jesus knows disappoint is caused by unmet expectations. But disappointment is healed by widening your outlook. Jesus joins these two disciples on the road home (although they didn’t recognize him) and begins to tell them the story of God through scripture. Each story reveals and reminds us that God is in control. Jesus wants to remind us no matter what’s happening, God is still on his throne. Despair never has the last word. God is begging you to remember there’s another chapter to be written in your story.

These two disciples eventually arrive at their house and invite Jesus inside for a meal. Jesus accepts. It reminds each of us that when we invite Jesus in, He will always say “yes”. And then upon breaking bread with them, Jesus reveals himself. Their hearts raced wildly and their excitement forced them to go back to Jerusalem to tell the other disciples, “Jesus is risen.”

So today, walk with your head up. When you walk with your head down, you lose sight of what God is doing around you. Jesus wants to be invited into your story as well. It’s in him that our hearts race wildly and cause us to live boldly for him. Blessings on your journey.

What Does Healthy Mean?

Disagreements abound. Just look at social media and see all the arguments and comparisons. Everyone has an opinion, even when it’s not in their expert view nor in their wheelhouse of operation. Churches are not immune.

At the last church I work, there was a dad who was a Nazi about unplugging extension cords. After class each Sunday, my first desire was to connect to teens after class, not put away all the equipment. He and I went round and round about priorities until finally one day, he simply hid all the extension cords so I could not do my job. We fight about the most trivial things in a church family.

Paul is addressing this very thing in his letter to the Philippians. Relationships are messy but that doesn’t mean we ignore issues and pretend they don’t exist. So, in Philippians 4:1-5, Paul begins the chapter reminding the church what healthy looks like.

Paul says the church should have a big heart full of love for each other. He uses words of affinity for the church. I mean, orthodoxy and holiness are important but according to Jesus, not more important than love for each other. John 13, Jesus tells us the love is how the world will know you are mine.

Paul goes on to say the church should also have a firm stance in the Gospel message. Fourteen times in the New Testament, we are called to stand firm. It gives the suggestion that there may be times we, as Christians, tend to hide or run or camouflage who we are. But Paul wants us to look like Jesus and proclaim his love for the world.

A healthy church has a warm embrace. We are called to love each other. The two women mentioned in chapter four are in a disagreement that seems to be polarizing the church. Paul says, “Look, you both belong to the Lord so work it out.”

When a band plays, it is a blend of different instruments. But the song is only produced when the band leader is calling the pieces together to play their part. It’s the same in the church. Jesus is our leader. He’s calling each of us to use our giftedness and create a blended harmony with each other for one purpose…to show Jesus to the world.

A healthy church also has a joyful soul. Paul says “rejoice in the Lord and again I say rejoice.” But sometimes, life happens in unexpected ways and it’s hard to rejoice. When your baby only lives a few hours after birth, it’s hard to rejoice. When the divorce gets ugly and very public, it’s hard to rejoice. When your spouse is suddenly taken away at a young age, it’s hard to rejoice. Paul lists all the trouble he had in 2 Corinthians 6 because he followed Jesus. But Paul is saying even when life is not turning out like you hoped, in Christ, we can rejoice.

Sometimes, we have disagreements. Sometimes we’ve been hurt by people who call themselves Christians. You were not included because you were single. You were looked down on because of the divorce. You were gossiped about because of a weekend you made a poor choice. You were ostracized because you look different than most people at your church. I want to say, “I so sorry.” That’s not how the church was designed.

But I want to challenge you. Jesus never said, “Follow my church” or “Follow the pastor” or “Follow my people.” No, Jesus said, “Follow me.” Don’t take out on Jesus what others have done to you. It’s time to settle differences. It’s time to allow Jesus to heal. It’s time to get healthy. Blessings on your journey.

Well, That's Garbage!

Grab a piece of paper and a pencil.  Go ahead, get something to write on and with.  Now, make a list of all the things you consider of value to you or that you are proud of.  Include in that list material possessions, personal accomplishments, honors and awards, and other things you value deeply.  How do these make you feel?  How much are they worth to you?

Paul had accomplished quite a bit in his life.  He was a man of high esteem, incredible education, significant social clout, and he was probably fairly wealthy.  His greatest value was the religious accomplishments he had obtained, being a Pharisee taught by one of the most important Jewish teachers of his day.  Paul tells us that if anyone had the ability to be proud, he was it.  He had power, prestige, social status, kept God’s law as a Pharisee, and was super committed to his church.  But compared to knowing Jesus Christ, all this is just a pile of dung.  Oops, I shouldn’t write that, but that is exactly what he said.  Read Philippians 3:8 again.  He says that he considers all his accomplishments and possessions “rubbish” compared to knowing Christ Jesus his Lord.  The word rubbish is the Greek word for dung or excrement.  Yep, it’s in the Bible.  Paul is saying that all the stuff the world has, and all the awards, trophies, possessions, money, power, prestige, social standing… are dung compared to an awesome relationship with Christ.  Think about this for a moment.  What would have to happen in your life for you to get to the point where you consider the list you made as no more value than rubbish in comparison to knowing Jesus?

Furthermore, look at the path Paul says he will take to know Christ deeply in Philippians 3:7-11.  The path includes the power of the resurrection, that’s pretty good.  But what about the rest, “the fellowship of his suffering, being conformed to his death.”  That does not seem like an enjoyable journey, but this is what Paul is getting at.  The path to true joy and great purpose is the path of the cross-centered life.  From the outside, that path looks ridiculous.  No way experiencing the suffering of Jesus is better than my car, my house, my trophies, my accomplishments.  But a person on that path discovers something, or someone that is vastly better than my stuff, they find Jesus.  He is the greatest prize, he is the most wonderful experience, he is the source of joy.  Paul is expressing what many have found, compared to knowing Jesus, the list is poop.

Ask yourself an honest question, if it came between the things listed on this page and your relationship with Jesus, which would you choose?  Remember, in reality the stuff you wrote on your list is really just dung! Blessings on your journey.

Shifting Perspective.

I love the movies. I can usually figure things out inside of 15 minutes into the movie. The first movie that really ever “got me” was the 1999 movie, “The Sixth Sense”. In the last moments of the movie, it was revealed one of the main characters had been dead the whole movie. Mind blown! I had no idea. It changed my perspective.

Jesus calls us to change our perspective in how we live…how we see things. He gives us an upside-down perspective compared to what the world offers. It’s never more evident than in Philippians 2 where Paul calls us to be of one mind and purpose.

See, how you think determines what you become. Paul wants us to the have mind of Christ. We can discover how Jesus lived by looking at the Gospel accounts of his life. Jesus was always caring. He had consistent joy in his life. He was obedient to what the Father had called him to do. He was patient with all those around him. He was compassionate to those society had deemed, “Not worthy.”

So, if you think like Jesus thought, you’ll live like Jesus lived. Paul reminds us in Philippians 2 that Jesus was a humble person. He left everything he was entitled to have to come to earth. Jesus shows us that God desires self-abandonment, not self-promotion. In deed, Jesus says in Mark 8:35, “Whoever loses their life for me will actually find it…”

Paul introduces himself as a “slave” to Jesus in the opening line of Philippians. Paul goes on to show Jesus was a servant or slave for us. So we, as followers of Jesus, imitate him by realizing we too are slaves and servants. See, serving is not what I do. A servant his who I am.

So the call today, reflecting on Jesus in Philippians 2, is to change your perspective. No matter what is going on in your life, you are Jesus’ person, created in his image, reflecting him in the world around you. Be transformed. Humble yourself. Discover and live out the Spirit of Jesus living in you. Blessings on your journey.

How to Live Well.

The letter of Philippians is overflowing with first-hand wisdom and encouragement from Paul about how to live well, as followers of Jesus. He's preparing the church to be a community of believers who know how to live fully in the now, defending and motivated by the Gospel, whilst waiting for His return. This preparation is underpinned by three types of love.

We need to have a love that grows. It is Paul's prayer to this church that their love would 'abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is pure and blameless for the day of Christ' (Philippians 1:9-10). 

Another translation describes this as a love that will 'flourish and that will not only love much, but love well.' This 'loving well' that we are called into, is one that continually grows deeper the more we follow Christ, and therefore spurs us to love one another simultaneously. It's one that is never switched off, always kept on. It's one that teaches us to show sincere, non-superficial love, one that is modelled by the example of Christ. 

We must show a love for Jesus. Paul also calls us to live a life that is marked by loving, living for, and speaking about Jesus.  Love for Jesus overflows into the desire to tell others about him. Paul's life is primarily characterised by his relentless desire to preach the Gospel; 'the important thing is, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached' (1:18), and 'for me to live is Christ, to die is gain' (1:21).

Paul even talks about being torn between the two (1:23-26); living for Christ now, and being with Christ forever. Yet Paul calls us to stand, wherever we are, whatever season - at school, University, college, gap year - united in our love for Jesus, in courage against opposition, in hope of future with Him!

Finally, we need a love that suffers. One final love is Paul's call to live a life worthy of the Gospel, and he explains that part of this includes suffering (1:29-30). I love the translation, 'the suffering is as much a gift as the trusting. You're involved in the same kind of struggle you saw me go through.' This love that suffers is not one that suffers alone (1:29), nor one that will suffer forever, as we see in Paul's example. We have total confidence that we serve and love our God who stands with us.

I love this first chapter of Philippians because it gives a beautiful outline of what a life sold-out for Jesus looks like today. My prayer is that we'll cultivate lives that never cease to grow in our love for Jesus. Blessings on the journey.

Foundation Matters.

Last year, I had to have some foundation work done on my house. One hold side had sunk about one inch and the drop had created some cracks in the drywall inside. The crew came out to lift up the house back to level and for a few thousands bucks, everything was right again.

Our relationships with each other are so important. No earthly relationship more important than your marriage. So, building it on the right foundation will make all the difference when the storms of life come. Jesus knew that too and tells us in Matthew 7 about two home builders. One built on bedrock and the other on shifting sand. Storms came with rains, floods and wind. The house built on sand came crashing down.

The material we use to build our marriage is critical. Using the wrong materials will not allow us to withstand the storm. Some of the things that create storms in our marriage are the baggage we bring from past relationships or how we spend or save money or how we discipline the kids or our harsh tones or disrespect. But when we decide to offer mutual respect to each other and offer unconditional love to each other, we find the storms are more likely to be survivable.

See, the storm reveals what materials make up the house. Many times, we first worry about aesthetics in the house rather than the foundation. But Jesus uses the word “Moro” in Matthew 7 in the original language. “Moro” is where we get our English word, “Moron” from. If you don’t pay attention to the foundation your building, Jesus calls you a moron.

So, don’t put undo pressure on your spouse by expecting them to meet every need you have. No one was created to complete you. Like all things, time plus pressure equals a cracked foundation. Equally, don’t create moments where unreasonable disappointment will exists. When your spouse doesn’t live up to your expectations, you feel disappointed. Then, you’ll begin looking for someone else to make you “feel” like you hoped someone else would.

At the end of the day, no relationship will ever be as intimate, as deep, as close as you hoped for without Jesus Christ in the middle of it. So, start today making Jesus the priority in your relationship. It’s the most impactful thing you can do to create a long-lasting one. Also, start today praying together out loud while holding hands. Do this for two weeks and see the difference it makes in your relationship. Blessings on the journey.

Breaking Walls in Relationships.

Lawrence Ripple was tired of the nagging. He and Dori had been married 20 years. They lived in Kansas City in 2016 but the day came when he’d had enough. So he went downtown to a bank, handed a note to the teller. The note read, “Give me all your money. I have a gun.” So, the teller handed over about $2900. Lawrence then calmly sat down on a couch in the bank and began talking to the security guard until the police came.

The police arrested Lawrence but discovered he had no gun. When they asked Lawrence why he did it, he replied, “It was the only way to get away from my nagging wife.” Ironically when it came time for him to stand in front of the judge, she had the ability to give him 37 months in jail but, because she knew the reason for his action, instead, sentenced him to house arrest for six months.

I’ve heard from many, marriage can be like a ball and chain but it doesn’t have to be if we decide to enter into that relationship with the mind of Christ. By looking at the life of Christ, we discover that relationship requires sacrifice. Jesus reminds us of God’s intent for marriage in Mark 10 when he says, “a person leaves their mom and dad and is united with their spouse…” The word “united” in the original language means to “grab hold of and pursue with everything you have.” It’s the same type of language used in Deuteronomy as the book describes God’s love and relationship with us.

So, how do I pursue my spouse with everything I have? While no human relationship will ever be perfect, we can look at Jesus’ life as reflected in Philippians 2 to discover what sacrifice looks like. What we see is that Jesus’ love is filled with unselfish humility. There’s no easy hack for that…it’s just hard. Jesus left everything for you and me…he made himself nothing. How do you break down walls in your relationship? You make yourself nothing, considering others as more important than yourself.

And if we are going to look like Jesus in our relationship, you must give undeserved grace. Grace is what tore down the wall between you and God. So, we look to text like Ephesians 4:32 for guidance where Paul says, “be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” Or 1 Corinthians 13 where Paul reminds us that love doesn’t keep record of wrongs. You want to tear down the walls, don’t keep a record of wrong but extend undeserved grace.

And finally, find the most generous explanation for your spouse’s behavior, then believe it. We should believe that the one to whom we said, “I do”, is good-willed and has good intentions. Now that doesn’t mean we put off working on things or put off difficult conversations but in your heart, we are believing they really mean well.

As believers in Jesus, we should be the best people in the world to practice this idea. So that’s the challenge, lean into your marriage and take on the personality of Jesus Christ. Someone has to take the first step in your relationship to show Jesus, why not you? You’ve got this. And He’s got you. Blessings on your journey.

A Little Love & Respect.

Ephesians 5 is one of the most difficult passages for most married people to take in. We can read it and nod our heads and say, “That’s so nice!” but then walk away with absolutely no way to apply it.  In fact, Ephesians 5 often causes our old Adam to well up in the worst of ways, pointing fingers at ways our spouse fails us daily or, in worst cases, ending marriages in the heartache and trauma of devaluing and abuse.  So we avoid it. We avoid reading it; we avoid discussing it; and we hope and pray that our pastor doesn’t preach about it on Sunday.  

But Ephesians 5 has all we need to know to have a marriage that thrives. Don’t misunderstand me. I’m not talking about a marriage that’s any easier than your neighbors’, or a marriage that’s “happier” or more “successful.” I’m talking about a marriage that’s fulfilling through the hard work and effort of each spouse. A marriage guided by the Spirit, struggling in the day-to-day, and finding joy in the journey together.

Ephesians 5 presents two ingredients: 1) husbands love your wives, and 2) wives respect your husbands. Easier said than done. God intends each person to contribute, but He gave us the Holy Spirit, and a lot of love and grace and forgiveness to fill in the gaps where we live as sinner and saint. So, let’s agree to discuss it. Let’s digest even a tiny bit of what love and respect might look like in this small space of the Internet.

1. Assume the best in your spouse. This underlies everything in your marriage. Do you believe that your spouse has your best interests in mind? Do you believe God has your best interest in mind? We trust in God because He is God and He is perfect. We also trust in Him because we know Him and know that He has our best interest in mind. Who is our next closest relationship? Who do we know so deeply that we have committed a lifetime to getting to know every tiny piece of him or her? Our spouse. When frustration and hurt begin to well up in an argument or circumstance we can put the best perspective on what our spouse is saying and doing because we believe in this person as a complete partner in the relationship, as someone with our best interest in mind.

2. Talk nicely. It sounds simplistic, but the tongue really gets us into so much trouble. The Bible addresses this over and over. We tend to reserve our patient tongues, our reserved tongues for those outside of our home, and let the wagging and lashing flow where we are most comfortable. The problem is that this leaves our spouse feeling undervalued and disrespected, unloved. God created the second chance, the rephrase, to show care and concern for those closest to us.

Husbands loving their wives. Wives respecting their husbands. Christ doing all of it in us, showing a weary world through our little marriage just who He really is.  It’s not easy, but He’s always worth it. Blessings on the journey.

Laying Bricks in Relationship.

According to several articles, the most romantic line from a romantic movie is from “Jerry McGuire” where Tom Cruise tells Rene Zellwigger, “You complete me.” But the truth is, no one on the earth was created to complete you. No one was created to make you happy. No one was created to bring you real joy. The only person to ever live to do all of that was Jesus Christ.

However, when we date or marry, we end up bringing things into our relationship that can hinder intimacy. Some things we are aware of and others are hidden. Tim Keller said, “Marriage has a way of introducing you to yourself.” That is so true. I want to briefly talk about 6 things we bring that can harm our relationship if we are unaware they exist.

Almost always, we bring in unrealistic expectations. We believe we should not have to work at our marriage. I think I should always feel in love. We falsely believe we should not have problems we can’t solve. John Gottman’s research tells us that 69% of issues in marriage will never be resolved. Things like personality differences, libido differences, financial stresses or in-law stress all take more than one conversation to resolve.

We also underestimate our differences. Some of us are night owls while our partners are early risers. Some of us are extroverted while our spouse is an introvert. Some of those differences came out of our house of origin. So, your dad fixed everything in the house but your husband, not so much. Your mom always had dinner on the table by 5:30pm but you find yourself helping cook dinner.

At times, we have unmet needs. As humans, we have a need to feel protected and provided for. We have sexual needs and emotional needs. Rather than asking why our spouse is not meeting our needs, we should be asking how we can better meet our spouse’s needs. If we both ask that question, we’ll both be taken care of.

You might bring unresolved anger into your relationship. Maybe you have never worked through the challenges your parents laid on you or that sibling rilvary. You may have unresolved issues that happened to you as a young child and you’ve never gotten counseling. Because you’ve not worked through these issues, you answer your spouse with defensiveness and harsh tones. It’s hard to have intimacy when anger is present.

You could have helicopter parents. Even in your adulthood, you seek out their input over your spouse’s. When there’s an argument, you call dad/mom because you know they always think of you as their little one and will take your side no matter. But parents, if this is you, it’s time to let go so that your kids can mature, grow, and learn, discovering who they are as a married couple.

Finally there’s unrepentant sin. You have that secret sin compartmentalized and tucked away. As long as she doesn’t know, it will be alright. As long as he doesn’t find out, it will be fine. But sin in your life will always get in the way of intimacy. And not only intimacy with your spouse but your relationship with God as well.

So the challenge is to do two things. One, do some self-reflection and discover what you have brought into the relationship that you need to deal with. Second, pray out loud every night together for the next two weeks. It allows time for you to hear what’s on the heart of our spouse and begin breaking down the walls that have hindered intimacy. Blessings on the journey.

Knocking on Open Gates.

The first century church was up against it in Acts 11-12. There was a major famine going on in the Roman Empire and King Herod of Israel had begun a vicious persecution of the church, starting in Jerusalem. So what do we do when difficult times hit?

In Acts 12:5, we find the church gathered and praying fervently for the release of Peter, who has been imprisoned. The other piece is that we lean in to discern the voice of God in our lives. If we put these two things together in tandem, we will find we have opportunity to see God in action and follow his leading. However, when opportunity knocks, opposition is always at the door with it.

So we can learn some things about our spiritual journey by digging into the church’s and Peter’s decisions while he’s in prison in Acts 12. Peter is hours away from a very public trial and if it ends like James’, he will have his head cut off. But what is Peter doing the night before his trial? Acts 12:6 says that he’s sleeping. How in the world do you sleep on what could be the last night of your life?

Remember the story about Jesus, the disciples and a storm? It’s night time and all 13 are in a boat in the middle of Sea of Galilee. A massive storm pops up. The disciples are scared. They are bailing water from inside the boat. They are battening down the sails. They are rowing against the current, wind and rain. And while they are straining against the storm, Jesus is sleeping in the boat. Peter had seen what Jesus does when there’s a storm in your life. So Peter sleeps while Herod knocks on the door of his life.

We also see that obedience always comes before freedom. Freedom from knowing the outcome before you take the next step. Peter is asked by an angel while he’s in prison to get up and then the chains fall off. Most of us would still be sitting there because we want details before we even moved. But Peter, gets up and the chains fall off. He puts his clothes on. You see, that’s faith. Putting your clothes on before you know where you are going.

And then Peter and the angel get to the iron gate of the prison. God opens the gate miraculously and Peter and the angel walk through the gate. You know, God will do for you what you can’t do for yourself. But he won’t do for you what you should do for yourself. Notice the angel didn’t say “get on my back”, I’ll carry you. No. They both walked through the gate. Sometimes, you just have to walk through it…the storm in your life.

So what do we discover in Acts 12 about our spiritual journey. One: there is real power in prayer. The church collectively gathered to pray Peter out of prison. Two: there is freedom in obedience. When we obey God’s calling, even when we can’t see the next step, we find freedom from the prison we are in. And finally: you have the peace the passes all understanding from deep faith in our incredible God.

Power, freedom, and peace are all available but only if you say “yes” to Jesus. Make him Lord of your life. It’s time to get up and leave the prison that’s been your home. Walk through the gate and find everything you’ve been looking for. Blessings on your journey.