Lead well.

I’m in a season right now. I don’t really like it. But, I’m learning some things about myself that I’m discovering need to change. Whether we are talking about leading our kids or our spouse or our team at work, we could use some reminders about leading well.

I heard Craig Groeschel once say, “I notice. You Matter.” It’s a motto we all should memorize and repeat several times a day. It means as we interact with those around us, we should let them know we notice their hard work…their time spent…their contribution to what is happening today. The second part is equally as important. Letting those around us know they matter in the storyline. What they are working on and how they are joining us in the day matters. We want to applaud both daily to the people in our life who support us, love on us, and work with us.

As leaders we must remember that no one wants to work with someone who already knows it all and seems to want perfection. Those around us have struggles and imperfections of their own so as a leader, we must be vulnerable and transparent, allowing our kids, spouses and co-workers to see our imperfections…that we don’t have it all together.

Now, we are not okay staying there. Our desire is to look more like Jesus everyday. But we also must recognize that we are not perfect and never will be. It’s okay to say, “I don’t know”. It’s also okay to say, “But we’ll find out together.” Collaborating with those around you is not a sign of weakness but really one of strength.

As a leader, we also need to be inspiring and empowering those around us to lead. Our goal should be to empower others to do everything we can let go of. That might be a goal of reducing your workload by 75% where you are doing the things that truly only you can do.

So, encourage, empower, inspire. Remember to say things like, “Thank you”, “I notice” and “You Matter.” I’m a weak man and forget these things often but the beauty of being a follower of Jesus is that when we are weak, He is strong. You can do this with his power. Blessings on the journey.

Take Over the Garden.

Jesus told them a parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his field.” (Matthew 13). Jesus tells a seed parable—this time about a mustard seed. It is among the smallest of seeds.

We tend not to like things that are small. In many ways, we think “Bigger is better.” The person with the big house and big bank account is seen as more important. The larger the portfolio or the position in society, the more attention we give and get. Everyone wants to be part of something big. Small is not valued, not to be taken serious. Small is inconsequential. 

Though the mustard seed was the smallest of seeds known to Jesus’ listeners, what would it do? Jesus said, “When it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree.” Surprise! The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed. The kingdom of heaven may present itself like a small seed, but it has the potential to grow huge—and even to spread everywhere.

We might think that the efforts of people presenting the kingdom are insignificant, but let’s not overlook God’s power potential. We are called to marvel at even the least presentation of the kingdom—to marvel and wonder what power and potential God has poured into it.

In your own life, you may believe your particular giftedness is not worth much…it’s small and inconsequential. God has given each of us a Kingdom gift. Paul reminds us that we are ALL part of the body of Christ, each of us having a part to play in Kingdom work. So, do not think you are not worth being part of the story God is unfolding around you.

Remember that God changed the course of history with just a few believers, who shared the good news of Jesus with ­others, who spread it further and further. And you can be that person, that believer who is also taking the commission of Jesus seriously and using what you have to tell the story of God. Don’t be shy. Plant your seed and with the power of the Holy Spirit, watch it grow. Blessings on the journey.

Breaking Bad.

We all have habits. We typically want to keep and build the good ones and trash the bad ones. As a Christ-follower, I try to be more like Jesus everyday but it doesn’t always work out…frankly, I have never had a perfect day. James says in James 1:21, “Get rid of all filth and evil in your lives and humbly accept God…” I dare say all of us long to do that.

So why is it difficult to stop a bad habit and start new, better ones? Well, good habits are challenging because the payoff is in the future. For example, you want to get in shape so you start running. Right away, you give up sleeping in to get out and run. You pay money for some good shoes. It will be a couple of weeks before you see any real result but two weeks later you feel better, you look better and people are noticing your weight loss.

Bad habits however make you feel better right away and the negative thing is in the future. So, you need to take the edge off, curb an appetite, look cool…you start smoking. Right away, your wishes are granted. But ten years later, the doctor informs you of respiratory issues or even lung cancer.

So we want to make bad habits difficult to do. For any habit, there is always a trigger which leads to an action and then a reward. So we want to remove the trigger in order to begin avoiding the bad habit. There are typically 5 triggers.

Time and place go together. There typically is a place where your habits happen. You don’t overeat at the gym and don’t smoke pot at church. But go to the Super Bowl party, you probably overeat and do some recreational stuff. The party is the place.

There’s also time. You don’t watch porn while at your church small group but you may late at night when your spouse goes to bed. There’s a time when things happen you wish would not.

There are moods when you are vulnerable. So, don’t make decisions when you are hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. Moods can create moments when bad habits kick in.

You’ve got moments that trigger bad habits. You have a huge fight with your husband which prompts you to call your closest 3 girlfriends to have a husband-bashing party. The moment is the fight.

Finally, there are people who trigger poor decisions. The people we hang with often shape the habits we have. Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.

Some practical application about making habits difficult. You love hitting the snooze button on the alarm. You want to stop. So you move the alarm clock across the room so you have to get out of bed to turn it off. You find yourself looking at lustful images on your phone. Give your phone to a friend to set parental guides on your phone. Only they have the password. You’re making it difficult to act on habits you want to kick.

And maybe you feel overwhelmed…that you can’t do it. Just take one small step toward making a better decision. God says in Zechariah 4, “He rejoices on the small things” that bring you closer to him… With the power of Jesus in your life, you can overcome. Blessings on your journey.

Prodigal Father.

Now you have either been a son or a daughter. I bet if truth be told, you were not an angel. I know I was not. I butted heads with my dad on more than one occasion growing up. When I was 18, I left home and never looked back. I was young, naive, and selfish and I made multiple poor decisions in my early 20s.

Jesus tells a story that begins, “There was a man who had two sons…” in Luke 15. It’s the story of a young son who wants his half of the family inheritance BEFORE his dad dies. So, when he asks for it, the dad concedes and gives it to him. The story goes on to tell of wild nights in bigger and distant cities where all the money was spent to buy friends, prostitutes, drugs, alcohol…it was pure Las Vegas on steroids.

Eventually, the young son ran out of money and of course, his so called friends left him for better things. With no money and now a shortage of food, the young son convinced a farmer to let him feed the pigs to earn a meager wage. Hebrews cannot touch pigs. They are unclean and one would be defiled to come in contact with those animals. The young son has hit rock bottom. No money, no friends, no food, defiled and unclean…But he remembers the servants in his dad’s house have more than enough food. So he determines to go home.

He thinks, “At home, even dad’s servants have a place to sleep and something to eat. I’ll go, recognizing I can no longer be called his son because of my stupidity, and ask dad if I can just be a servant.” So, he begins the long journey home.

But the father has been watching for months and months for his son. Finally, in the distance, the father sees his son and leaps from his porch to run down the road and hold his son. Their is no time for confession…no promise of different future behavior. Before the son can say he’s sorry, the father hugs him, kisses him, puts his own robe on him, a ring on his finger and shoes on his feet. Let the party begin!

Jesus reminds us in this story that the love of God both violates and fulfills our sense of forgiveness. It is a two-edged sword. When we are in the wrong, we want and may feel we deserve the forgiveness. But when we have been wronged, it takes a little more time to offer that forgiveness. Yet we see from the father what true love looks like.

The young son has been a prodigal…giving away all of his money, his time, himself to the world around him. The father is a prodigal too, who never tires of giving away his love for wayward children who have come home.

He’s waiting for you to come back as well. He’s watching for you to make the decision to be embraced by a love that’s deeper than the ocean. He’s waiting to give you that robe, ring and new shoes but you have to make the decision to come home. May the overwhelming love of the Father cause you to remember what’s at home. May you make the decision to embrace the wonderful life you can have by coming home. Blessings on the journey.

Starting Small for Big Things.

Two books I’ve read recently that were impactful where “The Power of Habit” by Charles Duhigg and “Atomic Habits” by James Clear. Clear reminds us that “goals don’t determine success; systems determine success. We don’t rise to our goals but fall to our systems.” Duke University did a study on habits just a few years ago and discovered a full 40% of our everyday is not a result of conscious choices but daily habits.

Daniel, in the Old Testament, had systems in place to help him be the man God wanted him to be. It no doubt started out as a small habit but created a lifestyle that was pleasing to God. You can find that habit in Daniel 3:3-10. Daniel rose to a level of leadership in Babylon second to none except the king. But the little habit that got him there was praying three times a day.

What we can learn for Daniel’s story is we should never underestimate that God can start something big through one small habit. Over my life of 53 years, I developed some bad habits and some better ones. When my wife and I married 30 years ago, we committed to being fully consumed with Jesus. So, we built some habits that we still live by today. We meet with God’s family every Sunday and other times throughout the week. Even on vacation, we find a local church and go worship with them. We are also daily Bible readers. Every day, we dive into God’s Word to discover how the Spirit will lead us. Equally, we pray to our Heavenly Father every single day. We made a decision to tithe to the local church every week so we give back to God a portion of the material blessings that he gives us.

Duhigg calls that foundational habit a keystone habit. That’s a habit that propels you into other, life transforming habits. So you have to ask yourself, “Who do you want to become?” Once you’ve answered that question, you add a habit on to it the keystone habit you’ve developed. Based upon who you want to become, what one habit do you need to start this week to get there?”

We all have systems. You’re either being intentional about your system or you use one by default. Duhigg reminds us there is always a trigger that kickstarts a habit. So if you want to be different, you need to change your habits and in doing so, make the trigger obvious and easy.

An example for obvious would be that you want to be more physically fit so you decide to walk at least three times a week. The trigger? You place your running shoes by the front door so you see them when you get home from work. That’s making it obvious.

An example of making it easy would be that you want to read through the Bible so you commit to reading one verse a day. They even have apps for you to download that will send you a verse of the day. After 28 days, you will be in habit mode of reading your Bible and you’ll be wanting to add more than just one verse a day.

Remember, successful people do consistently what everyone else does occasionally. The folks you know who are deep spiritually, didn’t get there by accident. The people you see who are debt-free, didn’t magically just get that way. The coworker who is physically fit, didn’t just wake up that way. All of them had a habit and plan that got them there.

So, who do you want to be? Once you have decided that, what one habit will you begin to get you there? Blessings on the journey.

Who are you?

I’ve had moments of pause. Moments when I thought, “Why am I here?” or “What am I doing?” I have had to rethink and reformulate where I was going and who I wanted to become because I didn’t like who I’d become. I’ve recognized along the way, I did not have the right systems and habits set in my life so that they would lead me to a place I was proud to be.

As I looked at other people whom I admired and respected, I recognized that behind the scenes, they were doing things no one else saw that moved them in the direction they wanted to go. After all, successful people do consistently what most of us do occasionally.

Most of us want to do well but there are some things that create an unsuccessful attempt to be the people we are hoping to live like. One of those things is that we tend to focus on the “what” rather than the “how. James Clear says in his book, Atomic Habits, “Winners and losers generally have the same goals. Goals don’t determine success. Systems determine success. You don’t rise the level of your goals; you fall to the level of your systems.”

So think through it a moment: you want to be a better friend but you don’t consider all the small things needed to accomplish that. You want to lose 20 pounds but haven't considered the need to change eating habits and working out.

We also don’t see progress fast enough so we don’t think those small things matter in life. We wrongly conclude small good decisions don’t much matter so we give up on the small habits that will eventually make us successful.

The truth is, life is the sum total of all the small decisions you and I make every day. Rarely does one decision wreck our life. But those small, everyday habits…those small daily disciplines give you the edge to become the person you want to be. It’s the things that no one sees that bring results everyone wants.

So, who do you want to become? I’d love to be a real solid man of God…a Proverbs 31 woman…a Godly spouse…an incredible parent to my kids…financially free…radically generous with my resources…physically fit…a bold witness for Jesus at work and in my neighborhood. See, our identity shapes our actions and when we discover who we are, it changes everything.

Paul tells us in Romans 6 that in Christ, we are redeemed, forgiven, new, adopted, children of the Most High God and that we can do all things through Christ who gives us the strength. See, a healthy identity creates the positive habits that bring us closer to God and closer to the person we really want to become.

As you create those positive, Godly habits one by one, know God will empower you to accomplish and become more like his Son, Jesus, everyday. Blessings on the journey.

Time is Most Valuable.

I’ve been financially broke before. I’ve spent all my money but then had the opportunity to go make some more. I’ve also spent my time unwisely. But I could not get that time back. Time is important. You only have so much of it. The Apostle Paul knew that and said in Ephesians 5, “…be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity…Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do.”

I find more and more, I do not have much margin in my life. I pack so much into every day, that there are times I never really sit down. I don’t want to miss anything so I really schedule the day, hoping to grind as much out of the day as possible. We have become an overloaded people. It seems to be the disease of our time.

But God didn’t create us to be stressed out, burned out and spent. We are limited creatures and when we understand that, we may find healthier ways to live into the life God has given us. Our time on earth is so valuable. The writer says in Psalms 39, “Remind me Lord that my life is a breath compared to you.” So because God has created us to live into His story, there are some important things to remember as we move into summer and beyond.

First, make God THE priority in your schedule. God wants to be more than part of your life—He wants to be your life. Jesus understood that and lived that everyday. During Jesus’ ministry, he was surrounded by turmoil, stress and anxious personalities but he was never spent. How did he do that? Mark 1:35 reveals it. At the front end of the day, Jesus spent time alone with God his Father. You and I would do well to follow his lead.

I mean, like Jesus, every single day, you have people coming to you. Whether you are a mom, dad, business leader or friend, there are people coming to you every day, just like folks come to Jesus for help. So, to gain wisdom and a quiet heart, find God at the front end of your day to ask for help and discernment during your day.

Also, learn to say “no” so you can say “yes” to the things that actually matter. We look at each other’s social media feeds and desire to do what everyone else is doing so we add that onto what we are already doing which leads to a massively packed day. Look, if you don’t align your spending with the money you are bringing in, you could end up broke. But if you don’t realign your time to what’s manageable, you will be broken.

Paul knew that in 1 Corinthians 10 when he said, “You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is good for you. You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is beneficial.” So learn to say “no”. It’s okay to create some boundaries for healthy living.

Finally, get the proper context for your life. We think we have more time than we actually do. Moses knew something about time. He wrote about it in Psalms 90 when he says about God, “From everlasting to everlasting, you are God.” God owns everything, including time. And somewhere between our birthday and our death-day, we are living out our dash…our life.

So the call is to use time wisely. Every day, discover how you are intersecting in the story of God. Learn what it means to create margin in your life to connect with God. This summer, the Holy Spirit has an incredible story for you. Live in such a way that you don’t miss your connection with God. Blessings on the journey.

Always On Mission.

We have all been on trips. Vacations, trips to the lake, and to see a relative in another state. And in the process we usually need some kind of map to get there. Back in the day, I used a big Altas map and we did the journey looking at a paper map. Today, just plug in the destination to Google maps and it figures all that out for you.

Acts 1, Jesus is going back to heaven and he’s meeting with the disciples to commission them and encourage them to witness everywhere for the cause of Christ. Just like he calls us to witness wherever we are. We are always on mission no matter where we go.

So let me encourage you to always be present. Jesus has passed the torch to us as his followers to reveal the light to those around us in a dark world. Many times, we wait until the moment we can have a “big splash” but the truth is Jesus is present in all the small things we do to be like him every single day. We are able to live out that calling because the Holy Spirit lives within us. It’s in his power that we live everyday to the fullest.

I want us to be prayerful. That first century church was always in prayer. As you read through the book of Acts, the church was constantly in prayer for guidance and wisdom. So this summer, our prayer needs to be that God would open our eyes to see the world as He sees it. Then, we would be active in his story.

Finally, be perceptive. You will find yourself in all sorts of places this summer so have your eyes open to where God has you placed. Seeing how God is working is a discipline. So slow down and be aware of people who cross your path and the locations you find yourself. Jesus said the most important thing in Matthew 22 is to love God and love people. So let’s make the most of every opportunity we get this summer. Blessings on the journey.

Be Wise and Live Generously.

Over 800 times, the Bible points to our need to think about how we use our resources. Jesus parables are almost 40% focused on how we use money. In Luke 12, Jesus tells the story of a man who is selfishly focused on building bigger and better, not really worried about anyone except himself. Jesus calls him a fool.

In America, we are a wealthy nation and as disciples of Jesus, we should consider others and our own families in how we use the resources God has blessed us with. The average person in the world makes about $2 a day. Out of 195 countries, only one holds 30% of the world’s wealth…it’s the United States.

And we know God is not opposed to people having money and comforts. All through the Bible, God’s story is full of people God uses to promote his agenda. People like Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Folks like Joseph, Cornelius and Lyda. There are many well-resourced people who have been a part of what God is doing in the world.

As we move toward a less restricted time from our COVID event…as we move toward a summer of travel, vacations and renewing our relationships…let me give you some practical advice about how a disciple of Jesus should interact with the resources God has given.

One fundamental idea is to stay away from debt when possible. There’s not one place in the Bible where God blesses someone and used debt to do it. Now, there are moments when we need to. Not many of us can purchase a house outright but there are some questions you need to ask yourself before you purchase big-ticket items. Questions like:

• Do I have $1000 in an emergency fund? Do I also have 3-6 months of salary saved up?

• Can I put down between 12-15% on a house purchase?

• Do I have enough cash to cover closing costs and moving expenses?

• Is the house payment 25% or lower of my take home pay?

• Can I afford a 15-year note verses a 30-year note?

How do you know if your credit card spending is out of control?

• Are you paying for groceries, utilities, or gas with a credit card?

• Have you consolidated credit card debt with a personal loan but not cut up the cards?

• Are you hiding a credit card from a spouse?

Also, be a good manager. Get on a budget right now if you are not currently on one. If you don’t have a budget, you can end up any where. Discover how you are spending money and create a plan to get your spending under control.

And be wise with your spending. You can live above your means which almost means you’re always going into debt. Living within your means which can bring some peace because you are spending what you are making. And then there’s living below your means. This way, you always have money left over at the end of the month. That money can then be used for retirement investing.

Right now, the average monthly payment of a new care is $563 a month over 70 months. Imagine if you bought used and then invested that monthly payment into a mutual fund over your lifetime. Depending on the funds you invested in and the length of investment, you could have between $3-7 million to retire with. The 10-10-80 rule is a good foundation to use. It means 10% of your income goes to God. Then next 10% is for saving and/or investment. Then you learn to live on 80% of your take-home.

Finally, Don’t wander from God with your resources. Make him the priority in your life and God will take good care of you. That’s what Jesus says in Luke 12. You may be sitting there thinking, “I am such a loser. I haven’t done any of this”. But this is not about beating you up. It’s just reminding us that today is a new day and you can start today living differently with how God has blessed you. When you do make God the priority, there is less anxiety, less worry and more kingdom work you can do. Blessings on the journey.

How to Know You're Edging God out.

Warning signs are important: a light on your car’s dashboard; the sound of a siren behind you when you are driving; distant thunder before a storm hits. Doctors take your temperature and blood pressure to look for warning signs about the state of your health. We also must check for signs to alert us that our hearts may be out of alignment with God.

What are the warning signs that we may be falling into the trap of pride or fear? And what safeguards can we put in place to prevent this from happening?

During a session in which he was receiving counseling, a pastor expressed excitement about his transition to executive pastor of a multisite church. His wife, however, had recently pointed out to him that his tone was curt, and his patience was short. She told him his “inner grump” was alive and well. He acknowledged that this was his typical first line of response to challenging circumstances: he was afraid that he was not good enough to do everything the new position required.

His counselor had noticed that, as he was initially describing the situation, almost every sentence he spoke had begun with I. The heaviness in his voice indicated he felt great pressure to have all the answers and to not disappoint anyone: “I’ve got to . . .” “I can’t let people down.” “I have to work long hours, and my family doesn’t understand.” The I factor warning sign was there, suggesting that this pastor was depending on himself instead of on God.

What about you? 

Listen for the I factor in your conversations. Note any words or thoughts that depict you as less than (fearful) or more than (prideful). Notice whether you too often direct a conversation back to yourself or you interrupt someone’s story to tell your own. Are your conversations laced with I, my, or me? Are you others-focused or self-focused? If the latter, consider this a warning sign that you may be on the path to Edging God Out.

The following true story tells of an encounter between Abraham Lincoln and one of his army officers.

During the Civil War, President Lincoln was visited by Colonel Scott, a commander of the troops guarding the capital. Scott’s wife had drowned in a steamship collision in Chesapeake Bay. He had appealed to regimental command for leave to attend her burial and comfort his children, but he was denied. He took his request to Secretary of War Edwin Stanton, who also refused. In his ultimate appeal, Scott was the last visitor allowed to see Lincoln in the presidential office late on a Saturday night.

As Scott recalled, Lincoln listened to his story and exploded. “Am I to have no rest? Is there no hour or spot when or where I may escape these constant calls? Why do you follow me here with such business as this? Why do you not go to the War Office where they have charge of all matters of papers and transportation?”

Scott told Lincoln of Stanton’s refusal. The president replied with equal fervor that, during this time of war, everyone had burdens to bear. He sided with Stanton and denied Scott’s request. Lincoln again suggested Scott go to the War Department, and if they didn’t help him, Scott was to bear his burden until the war was over. Colonel Scott returned to his barrack, brooding.

Early the next morning Colonel Scott heard a rap at the door.

It was the president. He took Scott’s hands and apologized, saying, “I had no right to treat a man with rudeness who has offered his life to his country, much more a man in great affliction. I have had a regretful night and now come to beg your forgiveness.” He had arranged with Stanton for Scott to go to his wife’s funeral.

We are prone to making poor decisions when we are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. So we need to HALT when any of these factors are present. Take time to give your answers and measure whether or not you are in the right frame of mind to make decisions and interact with others. Always remember, it’s the Holy Spirit leading us to great and wise decisions, not ourselves. Pause and reflect before every interaction. Blessings on the journey.