We’ve all seen the “adopt a pet” commercial with Sara McLachlan singing “In the Arms of an Angel” where the dog is shivering out in the cold, tied to a tree in the back yard. It really pulls your heartstrings, which is what they want. They want to emotionally manipulate you to give to their cause. That’s what needy people do.
You have needy people in your life and you can see them coming a mile away. You know when you see them, the conversation is going to be long, all about them and they will reveal how they are victim once again. It could be a family member who doesn’t have a lot of friends and expects you to fill that void. It could be a coworker who needs you to affirm and praise them for all they do. If could be a friend who always seems to be on the struggle bus.
And we do care about them. But when we pull back to catch our breath, we feel guilty because they believe we’ve abandoned them. Sometimes when we do feel we are helping them, we end up hurting them and us in the process. So, how do we love on people in our lives who are difficult to love?
Well, first, we are going to give strategically. We are going to give them a hand up rather than a hand out. That’s what Peter and John do in Acts 3 when they heal the lame man at the Gate Beautiful. So we ask, “What do they REALLY need?” verses “what do they want?" There is a definite difference between need and want.
For example, a friend came to me wanting to borrow $300 for his rent. But the week before, I saw them post a picture of a new tattoo. When I bring this up, they have all kinds of excuses. But I’m asking myself, what do they really need? So I offer helping to get the resume in better shape and helping them to find a better job than the one they have or I offer to sit with them to help them create a budget so they aren’t in this spot again. We are going to give strategically.
We are also going to serve wisely. Jesus served people his whole ministry and we are called to follow that example. But Jesus also took moments to say “no” so he could withdraw, connect to his Father, and get his cup refilled after pouring himself out in service.
During the safety briefing on every airplane flight, the attendant says, “In case of an emergency, if we loose cabin pressure, the oxygen mask will drop down. Put yours on first then help those around you.” See, you can’t serve others if your unconscious. You can’t say “yes” often if you don’t say “no” occasionally.
Finally, we are going to trust God completely with the story. We must recognize it’s God who brings change in people, not me. I’m just the vessel God works through to provide his love, peace, patience, and mercy. I’m never the answer…Jesus is the answer. Look, we deal with needy people everyday in our life. But the truth is we are all needy people because all of us need Jesus. Without him, our life would be chaotic and have no purpose. So we’ll close with a prayer from Psalms 70:5:
But as for me, I am poor and needy;
please hurry to my aid, O God.
You are my helper and my savior;
O Lord, do not delay.
Blessings on your journey.