We all deal with folks who are hard to love. People who seem to suck the life out of us. We will always have people who criticize us in life. No matter what you do, someone will want to tear into you. “To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.” That is attributed to Aristotle. He’s saying, you will always have critics. If that’s so, how do we deal with the critical people in our lives?
Often, you just don’t respond. That’s what Jesus did. Peter reminds us in 1 Peter 2:23 that Jesus didn’t retaliate but left his story in the hands of God. As followers of Jesus, we want to imitate him. So like Jesus, we are under no obligation to respond to those who have critical words for us.
Now overlooking an offense is not the same as pretending it didn’t happen. To overlook is saying I know I could retaliate but I’m choosing not to do so. I’m not going to lose sleep over it or be bitter. I’m taking the high road and rising above it.
Sometimes, you do respond but do so carefully. Responding is not reacting. Reacting is emotional and knee-jerk. Responding is spirit-led. So wait before you respond. When you type out that email, don’t hit the send button until you’ve had some time to think about it.
Often I’ve discovered that those people who are my critics are that way because of hurt they have experienced in their own life. There’s a wound they haven’t recovered from just yet or something they don’t like about themselves that manifests itself in a critical spirit. So in moments when you respond to critics, act like Jesus and respond out of compassion and love, knowing most likely they are critics because of hurt in their lives.
Always, though, guard your heart because you never want to be the one with the critical spirit. Like Jesus, you want your words to be life-giving, not cutting. We’ve all been a part of conversations when we used words to hurt others. Many times, that critical spirit can be born out of hurt, ignorance, or pride. So what do we do to overcome a spirit of criticism?
We must become deeply grounded in who we are in Christ. Because I’m already approved by God, your approval really doesn’t matter. I can overlook criticism because I have a higher calling in Christ. You see, if I live by your praise, I will die by it’s absence. So stop being so offendable. Stop being so nit-picky. We are called to look like Jesus. His words are life-giving and so should ours be as well. Blessings on the journey.